“Mickey 17” is a cartoonish mess.

Only it’s not a cartoon.

“Mickey 17” is, to quote a cliché, a dystopian science-fiction film, by writer-director by Bong Joon Ho, the Oscar best picture, director and original screenplay recipient for “Parasite” (2019).

“Parasite” was a comedically-intense, bitterly-ironic and often shocking parable about two South Korean families: one wealthy; the other impoverished and preying on the wealthy family.

In “Mickey 17,” Mickey Barnes (Robert Pattinson) is similarly down-on-his luck. His lack of career prospects motivates him to enlist as an astronaut, a so-called expendable, on a mission to set up a colony on Niflheim, an ice-choked planet.

The conceit of “Mickey 17” is that expendables have more lives than cats. The expendables are brought back to life through a process akin to cloning. Mickey is up to at least 17 versions of himself, hence, the film title.

The ruler of this future society is Kenneth Marshall (Mark Ruffalo) who, with his wife, Ylfa (Toni Collette), lords it over his followers with a mix of choreographed adulation, social media and television manipulation, and brute force.

Mickey Barnes, double-crossed by his erstwhile friend, Timo (Teven Yeun), falls into the arms of security agent Nasha (Naomie Ackie) to battle not only the authorities on the planet Niflheim, but its giant creature inhabitants known as Creepers.

The Creepers, one of the more hideous aspects of “Mickey 17,” log lots of screen time. They are even creepier than the Sandworms of the “Dune” movies (2021, 2024).

The giant Creepers seem to be based on tardigrade, which are microscopic, eight-legged invertebrates. They are the size of this period.

German zoologist Johann August Ephraim Goeze discovered tardigrade in 1773, calling them Kleiner Wasserbär, or “little water bear.”

“Mickey 17” is not the first movie to have a giant version of a tardigrade. In TV’s “Star Trek: Discovery” (2017-2024), an alien creature, the Ripper, is a huge version of a tardigrade.

The Creepers and overall production values of “Mickey 17” make the film visually-fascinating.

The cinematography by Darius Khondji (“Evita,” 1997; Oscar nominee, cinematography, “Bardo: False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths,” 2023) is exceptionally dark, and utilizes extensive close-ups for the main characters.

The soundtrack by Jung Jae-il (Primetime Emmy nominee, “Squid Game,” 2022) has spare piano music in the style of a silent movie, which at times “Mickey 17” plays like.

The production design by Fiona Crombie (Oscar nominee, production design, “The Favourite,” 2019) creates a world of worry with machines and spaceships that seem well-worn.

The costume design by Catherine George (“Snowpiercer,” 2013) is stylishly militaristic.

“Mickey 17” is dour, bleak and depressing. I kept thinking of the Toni Basil novelty dance-club hit, “Hey Mickey” (1981). A montage of Mickey Barnes to the lyrics “Oh Mickey, you’re so fine/You’re so fine, you blow my mind/Hey Mickey, hey Mickey” would have added some sauce and sass to the film.

Fortunately, Robert Pattison as Mickey 17 keeps the movie-goer’s eyes glued to the screen.

Pattinson pulls double-duty. Scenes in which two Pattinsons appear as Mickey 17 and Mickey 18 in the same frame are silly and gimmicky. Pattison (“Twilight” movie franchise, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012; “The Batman,” 2022; “The Lighthouse,” 2019) creates a distinctive little boy’s voice and hangdog look as Mickey 17. Pattinson flashes his ivories with a meaner demeanor as Mickey 18.

Director Bong Joon Ho co-wrote the screenplay for “Mickey 17” with Edward Ashton (“Tales from the Bridge” podcast series (2021 to the present) based on Ashton’s novel, “Mickey 7” (2022).

Why there needs to be 17 Mickeys is beyond me. Seven Mickeys would have been plenty.

Not much in “Mickey 17” adds up. One of Bong Joon Ho’s first films was the short, “Incoherence” (1994). That movie title could apply to “Mickey 17.”

“Mickey 17” is a big disappointment. Seventeen disappointments, in fact.

Fans of Bong Joon Ho and Robert Pattinson may want to count on “Mickey 17.” As for me, count me out.

“Mickey 17,” MPAA rated R (Restricted: persons under 17 require an accompanying parent or adult guardian) for violent content, language throughout, sexual content and drug material; Genre: Fantasy, Comedy, Science-Fiction; Run time: 2 hours, 17 minutes. Distributed by Warner Bros. Pictures.

Credit Readers Anonymous: “Mickey 17” was filmed in Warner Bros. Studios Leavensden, England, Aug. 2 - Dec. 5, 2022.

At The Movies: “Mickey 17” was seen in Dolby Cinema at AMC, AMC Center Valley 16.

Theatrical Movie Domestic Weekend Box Office, March 14-16: “Novocaine,” a thriller starring Jack Quaid, a son of Meg Ryan and Dennis Quaid, as a man who feels no pain, opened at No. 1 with $8.7 million in 3,365 theaters. “Black Bag,” a spy thriller starring Michael Fassbender and Cate Blanchett and directed by Steven Soderbergh, opened at No. 2 with $7.6 million in 2,705 theaters. “Mickey 17” dropped from No. 1 to No. 3 with $7.4 million in 3,807 theaters, $33.2 million, two weeks.

4. “Captain America: Brave New World” dropped two places, $5.6 million in 3,250 theaters, $185.6 million, five weeks. 5. “The Day the Earth Blew Up: A Looney Tunes Movie,” $3.1 million in 2,827 theaters, opening. 6. “The Last Supper, $2.7 million in 1,575 theaters, opening. 7. “Paddington in Peru” dropped two places, $2.6 million in 2,489 theaters, $41.2 million, five weeks. 8. “Dog Man” dropped two places, $2.5 million in 2,407 theaters, $92.8 million, seven weeks. “The Monkey” dropped five places, $2.4 million in 2,294 theaters, $35.2 million, four weeks. 10. “Last Breath” dropped seven places, $2.2 million in 2,661 theaters, $18.5 million, three weeks.

Movie box office information from Box Office Mojo as of March 16 is subject to change.

Unreel, March 21:

“Snow White,” PG: Marc Webb directs Rachel Zegler (Snow White), Gal Gadot (the Evil Queen) and the voice talents of the Seven Dwarfs (who are CGI) in the live-action Musical Fantasy adaptation of the 1937 Disney animation feature classic.

“The Alto Knights,” R: Barry Levinson directs Robert De Niro in a dual role as Italian-American mob bosses Vito Genovese and Frank Costello in the Biography Crime Drama. The family film is set during the 1950s.

“Locked,” R: David Yarovesky directs Bill Skarsgård and Anthony Hopkins in the Horror Thriller. A thief who steals a luxury SUV takes a wrong turn.

Movie opening information from Internet Movie Database as of March 17 is subject to change.

Two Popcorn Boxes out of Five Popcorn Boxes