BY BONNIE LEE STRUNK

Special to The Press

For me, it was the lima beans.

Almost everyone has favorite traditions that bring memories and happiness into the holiday season, as well as throughout the year.

Traditions remind us of our history and provide a sense of identity, security and comfort.

They are a piece of our culture and can evoke recollections that long have been a part of our lives.

But as our lives change and we grow older, our traditions may need to change, too.

Some friends are finding that trying to maintain the old traditions is causing stress and anxiety.

We don’t have to do the same things year after year.

It is OK to let go of old traditions and create new ones more suitable for the way we are living now.

Change is a natural part of life.

We humans are resilient and adaptable.

If we are open to change, we will view it as an opportunity to create new traditions more suited to our lives today.

A simple tradition I changed after my first husband died was to add lima beans to the menu.

He loathed lima beans and didn’t even want to see them on the table, silly as that sounds.

I, on the other hand, love lima beans and missed having them at special get-togethers, including during the holidays.

My grandmother and great-aunts always had served lima beans at holiday meals.

Needless to say, that vegetable is now part of my tradition.

Most of the special meals I create throughout the year include lima beans and always will.

One friend who for decades hosted her big family get-togethers has started a new tradition.

No longer able to do all the planning and work involved for large family meals, she has turned the task over to her stepdaughter.

My friend’s home is still the family gathering place, but the entire meal is brought there by younger family members.

“I just have to supply the plates and silverware,” my friend explained.

Another friend gave up the hosting tradition altogether and now her family meets for holiday meals in a favorite restaurant.

They enjoy good food and each other’s company, but without the work.

A widower friend said the tradition of attending his church’s Christmas Eve service changed after his wife’s death.

He now has switched to attending a more subdued Quiet Christmas service a few days before Christmas.

He also said he gave away about a third of the decorations his wife used to put out each year and now displays only the ornaments he made or ones having a special meaning to him.

A divorced friend got rid of artwork and decorations she and her former husband had collected on their travels together.

She was not especially fond of some of his choices anyway, she said, and now displays only objects of art and Christmas ornaments that reflect her own taste.

A beloved tradition my late second husband and I had established was spending Christmas week on a different Caribbean island each year.

That tradition ended a few years before he died because his progressive illness made traveling impossible.

I have not resumed that tradition, but instead I have created a few new ones closer to home.

Changing long-held traditions that no longer are working does not mean we have forgotten a deceased loved one who was part of the traditions.

It just means our lives have moved forward and we are ready to begin and embrace new traditions that are more suited to where we are today.

If certain traditions feel tired, obligatory or stressful, perhaps it is time to create some new traditions that will bring meaning and joy into the holiday season and beyond.

May your traditions bring you peace, love and happiness.