Elves have left the building.

The depiction of Santa’s little helpers at the North Pole in the movie, “Red One,” looks more like the habitués of the Mos Eisley cantina in “Star Wars: Episode IV A New Hope” (1977).

I haven’t seen such despicable creatures in Santaland since the movie, “Gremlins” (1984).

And I am not even referring to Santa, played with sandpaper charm by J.K. Simmons who, as Nick aka Saint Nicholas, is one of the scrawniest Santas in cinema history. Call me old-fashioned. I prefer a Santa with some girth to his mirth.

Not only that, Simmons’ Santa is as grim as The Grinch.

I kept wanting Simmons to break out into a Farmers Insurance TV commercial. “We are Farmers ... bum, bum, bum, bum ... bum, bum, bum.”

“Bah Humbug” is more like it.

Wait. Simmons actually has done a tie-in commercial for “Sleigh Insurance” in a Farmers Insurance TV commercial, which is as entertaining as much of “Red One.”

(Full disclosure: I do not have Farmers Insurance. I have another brand of vehicle insurance. So, no product placement here.)

In “Red One,” Simmons’ reindeer-in-headlights expression is right out of the movie, “Whiplash,” for which he received a best supporting actor Oscar for his 2014 role as a music teacher berating jazz drummer student Miles Teller. In “Red One,” you half expect Simmons to break out the whip for poor Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Alas, the reindeer are mere living, breathing hood ornaments for Santa’s supersonic sled that looks like a futuristic Elon Musk Tesla to Mars.

Along for the ride is Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson as Santa’s security chief. “Red One” is the code name for Santa: It’s funny for a little bit to see Johnson speaking into his wrist like a Secret Service agent: “Red One on the move.”

What‘s really weird is to see Johnson, as Callum Drift, commander of Santa Claus’s ELF (Enforcement Logistics and Fortification) security, to shape-shift from normal-size human (If “The Rock” can be said to be a normal-size human.) to a toy store action figurine. We prefer “The Rock” super-sized, not downsized. The Michael Jackson “Beat It” 1982 jacket he wears is a nice touch.

Recruited for Team Santa is Chris Evans as Jack O’Malley, a computer hacker and bounty hunter. Jack is mostly a father in absentia to his son Dylan (Wesley Kimmel). This relationship, plus that with Jack’s ex Olivia (Mary Elizabeth Ellis), gives the movie a modicum of believability.

Screenwriters Chris Morgan (“Shazam! Fury of the Gods,” 2023; “Fast and the Furious” franchise) and Hiram Garcia (TV’s “Young Rock,” 2021-2023) trot out the Santa Claus mythology: Krampus (Kristofer Hivju) and Grýla (Kiernan Shipka), who get their props as evil villains and not much more.

Where’s Der Belsnickel when you need him? (Look for the annual “Legend of the Belsnickel” in the Dec. 25 Focus section in Lehigh Valley Press. How’s that for product placement in a movie review?).

“Red One” is dark, not only in subject matter, but in production design. Well, it is the night before Christmas.

Director Jake Kasdan (director, “Jumanji: The Next Level,” 2019; “Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle,” 2017; “Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story,” 2007) goes big on the special effects, CGI, action and fighting (After all, this is a movie starring “The Rock.”).

Fortunately for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, a Freedom High School, Class of 1990, product, as they say in the sports department, his engaging voice helped propel “Moana 2” to the movie box office stratosphere, breaking all kinds of records.

Johnson has 11 movies in development, pre-production or in production, according to IMDb. “Red One” is a footnote, or reindeer track, in his career of some 106 acting credits to date on IMDb.

Chris Evans should also escape “Red One” coal for Christmas in his acting career.

In supporting roles are Lucy Liu (Zoe), Bonnie Hunt (Mrs. Claus) and Nick Kroll (Ted).

One of the characters at the North Pole is a giant polar bear (voiced by Reinaldo Faberlle). I guess he’s looking for ice.

Among my favorite characters in “Red One” are three evil giant snowmen, one complete with a corncob pipe. How Frosty.

If you want to get out of the Christmas spirit, go see “Red One.”

Don’t say I didn’t warn you. I see bad movies, so that you don’t have to.

“Red One,” MPAA rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. Parents are urged to be cautious. Some material may be inappropriate for pre-teenagers.) for action, some violence and language. Genre: Comedy, Action, Fantasy. Run time: 2 hours, 3 minutes. Distributed by MGM.

Credit Readers Anonymous: “Red One” was filmed in Atlanta, Ga., Florida, and Honolulu, Hawaii, October 2022 - February 2023.

At The Movies: “Red One” was seen in the standard format at AMC Center Valley 16.

Theatrical Movie Domestic Weekend Box Office, Dec. 6-8: “Moana 2” continued at No. 1 with $52 million in 4,200 theaters, $300 million, two weeks.

2. “Wicked” stayed in place, $34.8 million in 3,885 theaters, $320.5 million, three weeks. 3. “Gladiator II” stayed in place, $12.4 million in 3,440 theaters, $132.7 million, three weeks. 4. “Pushpa: The Rule - Part 2,” Pushpa and Bhanwar Singh continue their rivalry in the conclusion to the two-part action drama, $9.3 million in 1,245 theaters, opening. 5. “Red One” dropped one place with $7 million in 3,1502 theaters, $85.7 million, four weeks. 6. “Interstellar,” re-release, $4.4 million in 165 theaters. 7. “Solo Leveling: ReAwakening,” hunter Sung Jinwoo encounters a double dungeon, $2.4 million, opening. 8. “Y2K,” Rachel Zegler stars in the comedy horror film, $2.1 million in 2,108 theaters, opening. 9. “For King + Country: A Drummer Boy Christmas - Live,” a concert film, $2 million in 1,540 theaters, opening. 10. “The Best Christmas Pageant Ever” dropped five places, $1.5 million in 1,633 theaters.

Movie box office information from Box Office Mojo as of Dec. 8 is subject to change.

Unreel,” Dec. 13:

“Kraven the Hunter,” R: J.C. Chandor directs Fred Heckinger, Russell Crowe, Aaron Taylor-Johnson and Ariana DeBose in the Action Thriller. It’ the latest in the MCU.

“I Am the Immaculate Conception,” No MPAA rating: Michal Kondrat directs Dominika Handzlik, Maria Juzwin and Dorota Liliental. Experts examine the role of Mary.

“The Lord of the Rings: The War of the Rohirrim,” PG-13: Kenji Kamiyama directs the voice talents of Brian Cox, Gaia Wise and Miranda Otto in the Action Adventure Animation film. The events take place 183 years before the original film “LOTR” trilogy.

“September 5,” R: Tim Fehlbaum directs Peter Sarsgaard, John Magaro and Ben Chaplin in the History Thriller. An American broadcasting network covers the Israeli athletes hostage crisis at the 1972 Olympics.

Movie opening information from Internet Movie Database as of Dec. 8 is subject to change.

Two Popcorn Boxes out of Five Popcorn Boxes