Dear Jacquelyn,

When going out to dinner with friends or relatives, do you split the bill down the middle or do you itemize? What if they order drinks and you don’t?

Dear Reader,

Splitting a bill evenly among diners isn’t a rule required by etiquette.

To avoid disproportionate payouts and hurt feelings when it comes time to split the check, talk openly with your family and friends about sharing the bill as early as possible.

Asking for separate checks is the most equitable way to split the tab because each person pays for their share of the bill.

If you’d like separate itemized checks, request them before anyone has ordered. Asking the server to split up the bill at the end of the meal is an inconsiderate move.

If you did not speak up prior to ordering, find a subtle way to ask your guests to split the bill when it arrives. For example, when the bill is placed on the table, ask your friends how they would like to pay for their meals. This clearly states that everyone is responsible for paying for their meals.

You can opt to split the bill evenly. If you do not feel it necessary to calculate how much each person owes, a simple solution is to split the bill evenly. Just be sure that each person ordered items equivalent in price, and no one has a problem with this approach to splitting the bill.

When it comes to tallying up the entire bill, alcohol is typically one of the largest culprits for discrepancies in what each person owes.

Drinks can get pricey and it would be unfair to the person not drinking to pay the same amount. Requesting that separate check in the beginning will alleviate this problem.

Make sure you are splitting the bill in a way that makes you feel comfortable. Be tactful and polite.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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