Dear Jacquelyn,

I am very uncomfortable starting conversations with strangers and I would like to overcome this fear. What are some good tips for shy people to start conversations with people they don’t know?

Dear Reader,

Many of us feel awkward and anxious talking to people we don’t know.

The biggest reason we hesitate is because we tend to overthink it. When you analyze every angle, you wind up thinking: “What if this happens,” or “What if that happens?”

Try relaxing your body language, take a deep breath and put a smile on your face. This will help you relax and it puts the other person more at ease.

The most obvious place to begin is by saying, “Hello.” Saying hello is an ice-breaker and opens the door to conversation.

Smile and speak pleasantly. You will appear friendly and the other person will feel more comfortable.

After introductions are made, pick an appropriate conversation-starter.

The key to polite conversation is keeping the topics light and interesting.

You want the discussion to be pleasant. You can ask a lead-in question to get someone to talk about themselves. Things like their summer vacation or a recent movie are great to get someone talking. People love to talk about themselves and know someone is interested.

Another way, and probably the best way to make a conversation easy, is to get some laughter going. You don’t have to be a master joke-teller. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to smile.

If you truly can’t come up with a way to begin, try the direct approach.

Walk up to the person, stick out your hand and say, “Hi, I’m so-and-so.

I just wanted to introduce myself.”

The fact that you went out of your way to meet will make the other person feel important.

Like everything else in life, beginning a conversation with a stranger gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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