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LEHIGH VALLEY WEATHER

Vintage Years: Are we happy yet?

Little things make me happy. Friends and family often have told me the smallest gesture or gift can thrill me, and they are right.

On the other hand, I know people who never seem to be happy, no matter how abundant their possessions or achievements may be. These folks suffer from emotional poverty.

Happiness cannot be bought. It has to come from within us.

According to Buddha, “There is no path to happiness; happiness is the path.”

To find that inner contentment, which leads to happiness, first we have to know ourselves and realize each of us is different from every other human on this planet.

Too many people let their opinion of themselves depend on others. They are insecure and compare their perceived success, or lack of it, to others, instead of focusing on the positives in their own lives. No matter how well we are doing or how great we look or how many expensive “toys” we own, someone else will always be better.

People whose self-esteem depends on such comparisons will often feel unhappy because they will never measure up to what they believe are others’ higher standards. By taking control of our lives, we won’t be trying to live the fantasy lives of others.

Studies of happy individuals show them to be loving people who enjoy giving of themselves to make another person happy, which is one way to make themselves happy.

Folks who mostly focus on themselves and ignore the words and feelings of others rarely achieve true happiness. Happy people generally trust others. A lack of trust often leads to unhappiness.

Undue suspicion and paranoia are not traits found in happy persons.

We cannot hope to achieve happiness today by dwelling on regrets from the past or worrying about what will happen in the future. We live in the present, so we must learn to enjoy the moment and savor what we have or what we are doing right now.

To be happy, we have to rid ourselves of excess baggage that weighs us down. For many folks, that means living more simply — giving up activities or possessions or people that do little more than fill time. Some people cram their lives full of “fun” pastimes that consume time but fail to fulfill or bring happiness.

Periodically we may need to review our leisure and volunteer activities to determine whether they are still the right fit for us. Do they continue to bring us pleasure? Are we pursuing these activities for status or because it is the in thing to do right now? Even though we once enjoyed an activity, we sometimes outgrow it.

Happy people are not immune from sadness, grief and other life problems. They just have learned how to face and cope with these normal aspects of living rather than try to escape or deny these feelings, and, thus, they more quickly recapture the joys of life.

Happy people usually are thankful.

All of us can find something every day to be grateful for, even if we live with pain or have few dollars in our wallets. We are much better off than a multitude of folks throughout the world who lack food, housing, medical care, freedom, safety or all of the above.

Studies have indicated happy people also seem to be those who believe in something greater than themselves, which provides them with comfort and a rudder as we all drift through this chaotic sea of life.

Abraham Lincoln once said, “Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.”

We get to make the decision.