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LEHIGH VALLEY WEATHER

Another View: Loss moms are still mothers

Amid the flowers, brunches and celebrations of Mother’s Day this weekend, keep in mind this may be a difficult day for many. Some women struggle with infertility, some are feeling the loss of their own mothers and some women are grieving their angel babies.

International Bereaved Mother’s Day has been celebrated the first Sunday of May since its inception in 2010 by loss mom Carly Marie Dudley, according to Pregnancy After Loss Support. While it is wonderful the loss mom community comes together to support each other, the larger holiday celebrations coming the following week can be especially difficult.

“The traditional Mother’s Day has proven to be an emotionally exhausting day for so many mothers around the world,” Dudley said, according to Pregnancy After Loss Support. “Just because your child died does not mean that you are not a mother anymore. You are your child’s mother forever, and people need to start recognizing this fact.”

Some mothers choose not to talk about the children they lost, while others desperately want to celebrate, remember and honor their babies.

A friend of mine from college, Ali, has a son who earned his wings March 4, 2022. Ali said when Creed was stillborn, she was lost and had no real support system or assistance in navigating that very specific kind of grief. She has since found a community of other mothers who share her experience.

Following her struggle to find her way as a loss mom, Ali is determined to work to ensure no other mother needs to feel so alone, so she started Creed’s Legacy.

Ali remembers how much she wanted something as simple as a blanket of Creed’s to have and hold since she didn’t have him. In the name of her son, she collects and donates bereavement boxes to local hospitals so mothers have physical tokens and reminders of the children they may have lost.

This year, Creed’s Legacy is also hosting its first Mother’s Day card exchange for mothers with “children in the sky, earthside or both,” according to her Instagram post.

“We would love to use our son’s legacy to help make you smile, if only for a moment on a day we all dread,” the post reads. “I know the anticipatory grief leading up to Mother’s Day, and I hope this is a bright spot in a difficult day.”

On its social media page, Seven Sirens Brewing Company reported staff were approached by a woman looking to hold an event in honor of the memory of her son Christopher at the company’s second location, The Blendery, in Easton.

Her Bereaved Mother’s Day celebration was originally intended for a small group of mothers remembering their children. However, the event grew after the Facebook post describing the event went viral.

In a May 3 Facebook post, Seven Sirens staff noted they don’t know exactly how many mothers were expecting to come, but they were hoping not to exceed their 175-person occupancy limit.

Seven Sirens also recognized La Bella Via for stepping up to agree to cater the event, which was offered free for the mothers. After the event grew in size, other community partners stepped in to help as well, including Saladworks, Chick-fil-A in Whitehall, Events by BalloonWorks and Gift Box Floral and Garden.

This event is intended for bereaved mothers to relax and enjoy a meal “in the company of other women who want nothing more than to remember their children with others who share the same love for theirs,” Seven Sirens said in an April 30 post.

“We want to create a space for you all to come together to love, remember and support,” the post continued.

Seven Sirens reported this will probably become an annual event.

It can be uncomfortable or difficult to approach loss moms about their babies, but I’ve learned many love and appreciate hearing their children’s names. It is all too easy for outsiders to move on since the child is not there physically, but for these moms, that child will always be a very real part of their lives. So go ahead and say their names and honor their memory.

“Having people remember our children is the most important thing to us,” Ali said.

I am not a mother, so I can never understand what these mothers are going through, especially at this time of year. While every mother feels, grieves and copes differently, they all need our love and support, for them and their babies.

So, for all mothers out there with children “in the sky, earthside or both,” I see you, I support you, I love you.

Samantha Anderson

editorial assistant

Whitehall-Coplay Press

Northampton Press

Catasauqua Press