Dear Jacquelyn,

I’ve been invited to meet my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I would like to make a good impression, but I’m nervous. What is the best advice on first meeting your girlfriend’s parents?

Dear Reader,

Meeting your girlfriend’s parents for the first time is a big step in a relationship and naturally the experience can be nerve-racking.

I’ve put together a few helpful tips to help you make a solid first impression.

Please dress well. Nothing telegraphs more about your personality than your clothes. Besides your face, it’s the first thing your girlfriend’s parents are going to be taking in when they open the door. Even if you’re just having a casual dinner at their house, look presentable and put-together.

It’s cliché, but it’s the truth: You never have a second chance to make a first impression. Arriving at the door with your hands empty is not a good look. Bringing something shows you’re making an effort and that their opinion matters to you. It shows you’re polite and well-meaning.

As soon as you meet the parents, look them in the eye, smile and offer a firm handshake to both parents. Address them as Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Do not call them by their first names until they ask you to.

Be on your best behavior and be engaged in conversations. Ask your girlfriend’s parents questions and listen attentively when they talk to you. When they tell you things, ask follow-up questions to get more details. And follow the basic rules of polite conversation: Avoid controversial topics, don’t interrupt and don’t swear.

How you leave your girlfriend’s parents’ house is just as important as how you enter. Leave them thinking positive thoughts about you. When you’re leaving, thank your girlfriend’s parents for your visit. Tell them what a pleasure it was to meet them.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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