Dear Jacquelyn,

What do you do when someone hurts your feelings and doesn’t apologize?

Dear Reader,

For some people, apologizing is challenging.

There are tons of reasons why some people can’t apologize. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter if they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions, it’s still hurtful.

Admitting doing something wrong is difficult. However, when this reluctance to make amends turns into outright refusal, it’s a problem.

If you can better understand why someone doesn’t apologize to you, this could help you cope. As a result, you can choose how you want to move forward.

If someone has hurt or offended you, they may feel uncomfortable dealing with the guilt surrounding their behavior, feel it’s an attack on their self-image, or they fail to understand why an apology is necessary.

These misguided feelings often lead to a reluctance to apologize and deflect blame.

In a perfect world, it would be reasonable to expect an immediate apology when you’re the one who has been hurt or betrayed.

When that doesn’t happen, the best way to deal with the situation is to step away from them for a time. Use this time to reflect and clear your thoughts about how you actually feel about why they acted the way they did.

Once you have given yourself time to process the situation and they still haven’t offered you an apology, it is time to have an honest conversation so that you are able to express your feelings in person. It is possible that they may have valid reasons for their behavior and this gives them the opportunity to explain how they view the situation.

The saddest outcome is you might just need to accept the fact that they’re never going to give you an apology. And then you need to ask yourself if you can live with that, or if cutting ties will be healthier for you.

Most importantly, remember you can’t control others but you can control your own reaction to them.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

All Rights Reserved

&Copy; 2024 Jacquelyn Youst