As an eternally grateful individual, I express my heartfelt thanks for the kind gestures of others. I want my benefactors to know how much I appreciate them and their generosity. With that mindset, it is painful for me to encounter folks who display their misplaced sense of entitlement.

Nobody is owed a gift or other form of kindness.

With the holiday season recently behind us, I can’t help but reflect on the individuals who have been crossed off my gift list, or even my visitation list, over the years. These are the people who never express any appreciation for kind deeds or gifts. Sometimes, their reaction is nothing less than rudeness.

A friend tells of the stress she endured when she offered to transport a former member of her congregation, who now lives in a retirement community and no longer drives, to a church service during the Christmas season. She was bombarded with a litany of complaints rather than appreciation. First, he had to walk too far to her car. Her car seat was too low. The church grounds did not look as good as he had remembered. He did not like the church’s decorations. Other members did not rush to greet him or make a fuss over him.

Needless to say, my friend will not be eager to undertake such a charitable mission again. She ended up with a headache rather than an expression of gratitude. If she had not gone out of her way to transport this elderly man, he most likely would have sat in his apartment alone during the holidays. He had few friends.

I have concluded many folks who complain of loneliness because few people spend time with them are often directly responsible for their sad fate. Do they realize how they are driving well-meaning visitors away? Perhaps, it is time for a self-evaluation.

Do we greet our visitors and benefactors graciously, or do we drive them away? If we get invited to someone’s home, do we complain about the food or the music being provided? If we have visitors, do we turn off the television and refrain from texting or talking on the phone while our guests are with us?

Are we guilty of focusing the conversation on our health problems or our complaints about everything from politics to the weather? Do we monopolize every discussion?

Do we show interest in others and ask questions about their lives? Do we feel entitled to bring a pet along to someone’s house, even though the animal was not invited? Do we state our opinion on every subject or try to give unsolicited advice? When we receive a gift, do we enthusiastically express our thanks, even if we are not exactly thrilled with the item?

The whole idea of extending kindnesses or bestowing presents is to give pleasure to others. If the giver receives no indication he or she succeeded, maybe it is time to quit. We have to conclude our gifts or favors were unwelcome and our efforts to please the recipients failed.

Being in the company of others is an opportunity to share companionship and good conversation. I am grateful for the friends and loved ones who share time with me.

If we are thoughtful and positive, we can ensure we won’t be sitting home alone while other folks are out having fun.