Dear Jacquelyn,

Last month I sent my niece a birthday gift. She hasn’t reached out to me to say thank you. I checked the tracking and it definitely was delivered. I was really hoping she would call to say thank you or even send a thank-you note. I’m not sure if I should ask her or just let it go. What should you do when your gift isn’t acknowledged by the recipient?

Dear Reader,

It’s disappointing whenever someone doesn’t express gratitude and appreciation.

After all, you took time out of your day to think about them, not to mention the time it took to buy a gift.

Before you jump to conclusions, consider that she may have innocently forgotten to acknowledge it or may be incorrectly thinking that she has already acknowledged it.

There is a polite way to approach this. First, give your niece the benefit of the doubt. There could be a number of reasons why you didn’t get that thank you. She could be busy and it’s simply an oversight.

Give her a call, text or email, whichever way you normally connect. I would simply ask, “I don’t trust the mail, did you ever get the gift I sent you?” Asking this simple question will hopefully prompt your niece to remember to thank you for the gift.

Keep in mind as soon as you send a gift, that gift is given and out of your hands. You can certainly opt to say nothing. In this case, the kindness you extended will be a silent, unspoken gesture.

The oversight of failing to acknowledge the gift falls solely on your niece. No matter how you approach this awkward situation, remember that you did a nice thing by taking time and sending her a birthday gift.

Most importantly, a gift is something freely given. In a perfectly polite world, everyone who receives a gift from someone would acknowledge receiving the gift and issue a proper thank you.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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