Beating cyberbully: How parents can help
BY JOSHUA GILMOUR
Special to The Press
Cyberbullying is on the rise worldwide in part because of technology’s ever-greater presence in children’s lives.
With just a click, cyberbullies can taunt, harass and threaten relentlessly, even reaching into the home via cellphone or computer.
As a result, victims report feeling hopeless, isolated and even suicidal.
“People tend to exhibit more boldness on social media than they do in person,” said Claudia, a mother of two children in a Lehigh Valley school district. “It’s like they have a lot more power with fewer consequences.”
What can parents do to protect their kids?
Taking an interest in their children’s online world can make a difference, say many authorities on the matter.
This interest does not necessarily require parents to become tech experts.
Instead, the website stopbullying.gov, a government website in the United States, suggests that parents watch for subtle clues that something is wrong, such as their child becoming withdrawn, hiding their screen when others are nearby, or reacting emotionally to what’s happening on their device.
For Claudia and her husband, Josh, that has meant discerning what “normal” looks like for their two boys, ages 12 and 14.
“Communication is essential for gauging their moods and recognizing when something isn’t right,” Claudia said. “Having regular conversations provides a way for them to open up.”
Experts agree talking with kids openly and often helps.
“The more you talk to your children about bullying, the more comfortable they will be telling you if they see or experience it,” UNICEF says in its online tips for parents.
As their two boys enter their teenage years, Claudia and Josh have found that talking less and listening more works best.
“Most kids don’t come home and automatically open up about their day,” Claudia said. “It takes time to draw them out.”
Beyond talking with, listening to and observing their kids, parents shouldn’t be afraid to make and enforce rules for online activities, experts say.
Josh and Claudia allow their boys to have phones, but they also give them boundaries.
“We want the boys to be good electronic citizens,” Josh said. “We don’t want them to be on their devices so much that they neglect more important things.”
“Phones have their place, but it’s important for their mental health to connect with people in real life,” Claudia said. “Those close connections help them gain confidence.”
The parents also cited tips and reminders from free resources available on jw.org, the Jehovah’s Witnesses website.
One of the site’s short, animated videos, “Who’s in Control – You or Your Devices?“ points out the dangers of being on devices too much.
Other topics in this series include “Beat a Bully Without Using Your Fists.”
“Sharing these videos with the boys has helped start the conversation on what can be a sensitive subject,” Josh said.
“I’ve learned not to let others change who I am,” said the 14-year-old.
“Don’t get involved in controversies. That makes you a target,” added the 12-year-old.