Dear Jacquelyn,

I sometimes get in a pinch and need to ask friends for a favor. This doesn’t come easily for me. I don’t want to come across as needy. Can you please offer some advice to make asking for a favor less daunting?

Dear Reader,

You’re not alone. Asking for a favor isn’t easy.

You are putting your request out there and risk being rejected, especially if you don’t feel you have something to give back. Increase your chances of getting the help you really want and need by asking sincerely and offer to repay the favor down the road.

When it’s time to ask for a favor, set the stage. Be honest and say in a friendly manner “I have a favor to ask you.”

It’s small but powerful and allows the recipient to switch gears and go into receiving mode. A brief heads-up offers transparency and is quite helpful.

In addition to being upfront when presenting your request, it’s also wise to provide a reason. People like to know why they are being asked to do something, so go ahead and share it.

People are inherently good and they like doing things to help. Keep in mind that your goal is twofold; ask in a way that enables the other person to feel good about helping out.

The best way to do this is to always give the other person the opportunity to graciously decline. Your friends will appreciate the option of opting out and the favor will not come across as a command. After making your request be sure to let them know that if they can’t help, you completely understand.

We all rely on our friends and family to help us in life. No one can go it alone.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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