It is my nature to push myself to achieve, without regard to the stress it causes me. Lately I have been getting a lot of pushback from the universe. Mostly in the form of itching and feeling overwhelmed.

I got an email from my editor that was titled “Stop!” It turned out the articles I was pushing to get done would not be needed for a week. I had to laugh. I did make some progress before I received his message, but I found myself happy to set the work aside and take a few good breaths. I even managed a little bit of self care.

Unfortunately I don’t have much of an appreciation for peace. Why? Anxiety. It’s not so bad. It totally beats the panic attacks I had for way too long after the separation.

Still my anxiety has been pretty high since the car accident. Getting used to the differences in the rental car, which is a different make and model, has been surprisingly difficult. The parking authority has been helpful with permits for the rental. But I miss my own car.

A few days later, I had a rough morning. I received an unexpected parking ticket. I went to use the atm at a local store but couldn’t find my debit card in my wallet. I went back to the car and sat quietly then looked again and found the card. Back into store, and there was someone at the machine. All the while my phone was blowing up with texts and calls from my day job. I got to work on time, but completely frazzled. Another hour went by, and my older son started calling. When I was able to answer, he told me my younger son had “collapsed” on the way to school. I quickly called my supervisor, and went home. By the time I got home, James had a fever, dizziness, and a headache and sore throat. The dizziness persisted through the evening, and life pretty much ground to a halt as I comforted my son and tried to get him to rest. ADHD does not rest comfortably.

The next morning we went to the doctor. The strep test did not go well. It took three tries and three people to hold James down so the doctor could get the swab. By then James was a pile of misery.

The test was negative, and the fever was gone, but his nose was starting to run like crazy. So we took the rest of the day to rest, and after 40 minutes of misery and unhappiness, my little guy was speaking to me again.

I think we both benefited from slowing down. It’s a shame it took a sudden illness to get us there.