Several years ago, I worked with a student who had trouble reading facial expressions. Thankfully, I was able to connect the person with an expert who knew how to develop this skill.

The truth is, my own social intelligence is pretty poor. Especially where my ex is concerned. Some part of me still believes he is trustworthy, though he has disproved this time after time.

It makes me very nervous to try to trust anyone else. Hence, yet another reason I don’t date.

I was recently reminded of this when my ex gaslighted me. Some part of my mind knew it when he was doing it, but the sweet compliant part of me refused to agree. It literally took me a week to figure it out.

I am mostly frustrated with myself. Because even with someone whom I know well, some part of me just cannot read the clues. Or are they called cues?

Whatever they are, somehow I am nearly blind to them.

My older son thinks therapy would help. I’m skeptical. So I am Googling social cue training. My adoptive mom was always big on figuring things out for one’s self, and I think it is worth a try.

My student, by the way, did learn to read facial expressions. It was a proud moment when that happened.

There isn’t much I can do about the behavior of others, except to try to understand it better and to strive for more of my own independence.

I didn’t know it would take so long or be so difficult, but it will be worth it. Wish me luck.