Dear Jacquelyn,

My neighbor borrowed my tree trimmer a while back and he hasn’t returned it. I would like to do some yard work and really need my trimmer. How do you politely ask someone to return something that you let them borrow?

Dear Reader,

This happens to most of us. We kindly lend an item to someone, trusting it will be returned as soon as the task is completed.

Time goes by and we forget until we need that item again. Now we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation, embarrassed to ask for the item back.

Give the person the benefit of the doubt. There is a chance your neighbor simply forgot about the tree trimmer.

A gentle reminder may be all it takes. It wouldn’t be unreasonable to come right out and ask for the item back. Be up front and ask if he is finished using the trimmer and that you would like it back as soon as possible.

If you aren’t sure of the words, try saying in a friendly tone “Hey, remember that trimmer I loaned you a few months ago? I hope you’re done with it because I need it back this weekend.” Hopefully, this will motivate the neighbor to be respectful and return the item to you.

Worst case scenario: if the item was lost or broken, it will be fixed or replaced. Because this is a neighbor, it isn’t worth a big falling out if there was carelessness with your property. Just write it off as a loss and resolve not to lend things to this person again.

In the future, when you lend something to someone, set a time limit from the start. You can say “Yes, you can borrow the trimmer, but I’ll be needing it back for some yard work next weekend.”

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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