Dear Jacquelyn,

I have a friend who promised to help me run some errands. I waited all day and I didn’t hear from the person. What should you do when someone says they will do something and then not follow through?

Dear Reader,

Promises are easily made, but not always easily kept.

When you believe what someone says and they don’t come through, it can be a big disappointment. You were counting on the person and that trust was broken.

Before you jump to conclusions, reduce the temptation to get instantly upset. Instead, give yourself some time to gain some clarity and give your friend the benefit of the doubt.

When you are ready to have the conversation with your friend, be sincere and let them know you were counting on them to come through.

Start by stating the facts as you see them. For example, “You promised you were going to help me run some errands.”

Give your friend a chance to explain why he or she didn’t follow through and try to see the situation from your friend’s perspective.

Sometimes things happen that can’t be avoided. Most people mean well but get distracted by various things in their lives.

You can also choose to say nothing and just ignore it. There’s no “one size fits all” solution and no one right answer. Your own values and graciousness dictate how you respond and determine the best solution for you.

If this incident is repeated again and again, it’s time to reevaluate and reconsider who you depend on. After all, relying on someone to keep their word is serious business.

Worst case is that it culminates into a domino effect where the more you place your trust in someone, the more their broken promises will hurt.

Some people have good intentions, but not good character. People who have good character will follow through.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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