Dear Jacquelyn,

Can you please share your advice on the etiquette of visiting a friend’s house after a new baby arrives? I was excited to visit the newborn and I am afraid I made things more stressful. Do you have any “ground rules” for visitors after the baby is born?

Dear Reader,

There are few things in life more heartwarming than meeting a newborn baby for the first time.

For the parents who have just had a baby, there are few things that are more stressful than too much company.

House guests can be draining at the best of times, so it should go without saying that you should never show up unannounced.

It’s such an exciting time, but sometimes the number of visitors can totally overwhelm the new parents. Let the parents know that you would love to meet the baby at their convenience and wait for them to give you the go ahead.

I think the first week or so it should just be immediate family or very close friends for just a little at a time. You will want to give the new parents some downtime. Be patient and allow the new parents to encourage the visit.

Dropping in without warning may not be appreciated by new moms and dads. Go when it’s convenient for them, not when it’s convenient for you. Always be sure to ask a new mom when she’d like you to come visit.

Try to keep visits to new parents on the short. Remember, you are not the only visitor and it’s tiring for the mother, and the father, too, to chat with the visitors.

Most people assume that holding the baby is part of the deal when visiting a new family, but that should never be the expectation. Let mom, or dad, ask, “Would you like to hold her?” Please, don’t pick up the baby without the parents’ permission.

As a guest, please be mindful of your health and, if you have a cold, stay away. Be sure to wash your hands first if you have been invited to hold the baby.

Introducing a newborn to a big dose of germs is the worst thing you can do. Give the new parents peace of mind that when you handle the newborn you are doing it with the cleanest possible hands.

If you’re able to follow these “simple” ground rules the new parents will appreciate your visit.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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