Q: How do I deal with a 10-year-old child who is angry, aggressive and violent?

There needs to be more information about this situation, the Family Project panel agreed.

“Does this happen all the time or only in certain situations? You need to talk to the child’s teachers and learn how his behavior is different in different environments. Try to figure out what triggers this behavior,” suggested panel member Denise Continenza.

“We need more details. What is this child being exposed to that violence is his go-to?” asked panel member Chad Stefanyak.

“Is this child violent toward other kids or just to family members? You have to examine his behavior. Does he have any disabilities or learning problems that could cause frustrations?” asked panel member Terri Hadad.

“It could be abuse or he has trouble regulating his emotions. There is a difference between a temper tantrum and violent behavior,” added Stefanyak.

Stefanyak suggested the child get a Functional Behavior Assessment, available at school.

“When I see angry, violent behavior at age 10, I feel the child needs professional help,” Stefanyak said.

The Functional Behavior Assessment is an evaluation of the student to identify and understand challenging behaviors, and come up with possible solutions.

The evaluation is led by a school psychologist or behavior specialist. The evaluaton team may include teachers, school staff, service providers, the student, and the family.

Once the team has an idea of what’s causing the behavior, it will create a behavior intervention plan with strategies and interventions to improve behavior.

“Something else could be going on. It could be a struggle for control between the parent and child. This child rules the roost and the parent becomes a doormat. The parent needs to take control of the household. This parent could benefit from parent coaching,” Continenza said.

She also suggested the parent also talk to a physician and a mental health professional, as well as school officials.

“Parents shouldn’t hesitate to reach out for help. You don’t want this behavior to stand in way of learning,” Continenza said.

Here are some tips for managing anger in a child from the Penn State Extension Service:

- When you are angry, you cannot hit, bite or hurt someone; break or destroy something; hurt an animal; hurt your own body, or use rude or insulting words.

- When you are angry, you can play with play dough, sand or water; tell the people involved how you feel; draw or paint a picture or write a story; talk things over; ask for help; listen to music; go someplace quiet to cool down, or rip up paper.

This week’s panel: Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Teri Haddad, Community Services for Children’s vice president community initiatives & advancement; Kaitlyn Kelly, Community Services for Children’s assistant director of school readiness; Jasmine Hines, Community Services for Children’s administrative coordinator advancement.

Have a question? Email: jhines@cscinc.org.

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Community Services for Children’s Project Child.

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