Dear Jacquelyn,

My husband and I received a gift certificate to an expensive restaurant. The amount is enough to cover one person’s meal. My husband feels it’s not much of a gift if we have to pay out of pocket. Is it rude to give a gift certificate that would require us spending a significant amount of money in order to enjoy the gift?

Dear Reader,

It’s likely the gift-giver was excited and wanted to give you something extra special without having thought it all the way through.

Perhaps the person was trying to give the best possible gift and felt this particular dining experience would be more meaningful than some other random restaurant.

I don’t feel this was intentionally rude. A budget constraint was most likely the key factor in determining the amount. The budget didn’t allow for the gift certificate to cover the cost of the entire dining experience for two.

It’s a sweet thought that the person wanted you to experience a really good restaurant dinner at a place you would not usually be able to go to. If this fancy restaurant is not in your budget allowance, save the gift certificate. Visit the restaurant for a special occasion later in the year.

The most formal answer is: A gift that requires any additional money to be spent in order to enjoy it is not ideal. The nitty gritty details of etiquette guidelines would be to include the companion’s meal.

The takeaway: Etiquette is an understanding of social skill guidelines such as who to gift and when. Manners come from a place of pure kindness. Good manners always trump etiquette.

We should not question and complain about presents we receive. When you receive a thoughtful gift, be appreciative and express gratitude.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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