Thomas Edison once said, “Negative results are just what I want. They’re just as valuable to me as positive results. I can never find the thing that does the job best until I find the ones that don’t.”

Another famous man, Albert Einstein, has also been admired for his thoughts on continuing to try, even if one fails. There are a couple of versions of the quote I like best, but in summarization, it says if you never made a mistake, that means you have done nothing.

How many times have you chosen not to try something because you think you will do it wrong, not succeed or will give up halfway through? I know I have.

But why do we see failing as bad? What is wrong with trying and not winning? What is not desirable about going as far as you can and feeling at peace with reaching the distance you did get, at that time and situation?

Does failing mean you are a failure?

A couple of months ago, I saw a video on Facebook of a young woman talking about how her father frequently asked her, “What did you fail at today?” She conveyed her dad was very interested to find out. I first thought to myself, “What kind of dad would be happy about that?”

After continuing to watch the clip, the daughter expressed how she began to understand and appreciate this as she got older. She said her dad had created a huge emphasis on trying and that no matter what the result was, the most important fact was she tried and learned a lesson.

He created for her a comfortability with failing. He made trying, coupled with not succeeding, a life lesson that was good, beneficial and needed for growth and maturity.

How many times in our society do people so easily point out our mistakes before our successes?

“You got a 12 out of 13 on your quiz last week. Why did you get that one wrong?”

I know this is not the conversation that is held in every household, but when it does, it can be damaging.

“Wow! You got 12 answers correct on your quiz! Way to go, kid!”

See the difference? Do you feel better reading the latter?

An important reminder to keep with you when you are facing the stigmas, expectations and criticisms from our society is you are not a failure when you fail. In fact, some people might even throw the word fail out the window and replace it with try, grow, move on, progress, learn, experience.

“What this teaches us is that although failure can be painful, and although, we as people, we have developed an aversion to it, it actually can allow us to unlock great potential,” Anna Powers writes in the April 30, 2018, Forbes article titled “Failing your way to success: Why failure is a crucial ingredient for success.”

“But in order to do so, we have to change our mindset on failure. Instead of seeing (failure) as something detrimental to success, we have to see it as a tool for success - a tool that helps us refine our path and allows us to learn what works and what does not. In such a way, we can see it as a normal part of the innovation of our own lives, not as something detrimental to life,” Powers continues.

I am in a healthy and fit moms group on Facebook, and a while ago, I posted an image of encouragement to others. It said don’t worry about that fact that you are walking slow, not lifting as heavy weights as you would like, had a cheat day of eating sweets or whatever else you feel guilty about, because you are 100% doing more than the person who chooses to not stay active, sits on the couch for hours, does not even try lifting weights, does not take the advice of his or her doctor or does not watch what he or she eats.

Over time, you will get better at reaching your goals, and your slips will help you get there. Use them to become wiser and stronger.

Resolutions are a common practice many choose to begin for the start of a new year. If you choose to jump on this bandwagon for 2023, know that it may not be a smooth, easy ride. It may have potholes, bad weather and detours to navigate. You have the opportunity to treat those inconveniences as times of learning and development. And remember to give yourself some grace and patience, too.

I think if we all shared our failing experiences with others, we’d remember just how common and normal these occurrences are that connect humans together.

Stacey Koch

editorial assistant

Whitehall-Coplay Press

Northampton Press

Catasauqua Press