Living the Vintage Years: Showing kindness is good for both giver, recipient
BY BONNIE LEE STRUNK
Special to The Press
Some mornings when I flip the page of my daily calendar of thought-provoking proverbs, I am struck by the amount of wisdom conveyed in just a few words.
A proverb I came across recently was timely. It touched on a theme that seems to be in the forefront these days, showing up in various forms on T-shirts, wall plaques, magnets and even bumper stickers.
You might have guessed the subject is kindness. Perhaps because of the current contentious nature of our society, people are realizing the importance of being gentle or kind with others, including folks with whom they might not agree.
The proverb I read states: “Kindness is the language deaf men can hear and blind men can see.”
As I thought about kindness, I came to realize we can show kindness by what we do or by what we choose not to do. Kindness is much more than being nice, considerate and friendly. The trait also encompasses helpfulness and a genuine caring about the well-being of others. To be kind, we have to be sincere.
We voluntarily use our time and talent and perhaps our resources to better the lives of others, not because we have to, but because we truly want to.
Our gestures of kindness need not be grandiose. Something as simple as a thank-you note or a thinking-of-you card can show kindness to someone.
Sometimes kindness requires restraint. For example, asking a disabled person if he or she needs help opening a door or crossing a street is kinder than just taking over. Perhaps the person is learning independence and does not want our well-intentioned assistance. Asking first would be a more helpful show of kindness.
I once had a situation where I decided the kindest action was no action. In my role as a museum docent, I was giving a gentleman a tour, when I noticed his pants zipper was open. Rather than embarrass him, I said nothing. In my opinion, I was showing kindness to him by my silence - let him make that discovery himself and assume no one noticed.
Neighbors can show kindness by sharing garden bounty, shoveling snow or raking leaves, picking up a few extra grocery items for someone who is homebound or offering a ride to a person who doesn’t drive.
In the grocery store, we can practice kindness by letting a shopper with few items go ahead of us in the checkout line.
Driving often seems to bring out the worst in people. If we are trying to show kindness, we might let an opposing vehicle make a left turn at a traffic light before we proceed.
As the holidays approach, folks can show kindness by donating to a food bank, baking cookies for a neighbor, donating toys to charities and sending care packages to soldiers. Kindness can be extended to animals, too, by supporting a local animal shelter or putting out food for the birds and squirrels.
Opportunities to show kindness are endless. Even smiling at a stranger is a spontaneous act of kindness that probably will be reciprocated.
Volunteering for worthy organizations that share our passion is a wonderful way to show kindness. Nonprofits always need lots of helping hands.
Being kind not only brightens the day for the recipient, but it also has a positive impact on the giver’s well-being, according to mental health research. Perhaps that’s why our acts of kindness feel so good. We are happier when we do something for others than when we do it for ourselves.
Kindness is contagious - in a good way. One simple act of kindness can inspire others to pay it forward. Who knows? We might even trigger a huge chain reaction of people being kind to the folks they encounter.
What a better world that would be!