Dear Jacquelyn,

I have a name that tends to generate a number of nicknames. How can I politely correct people who just decide to use a nickname without asking my preference?

Dear Reader,

A lot of people have problems with unwanted nicknames.

The most common occurrence is during introductions when people take it upon themselves to call you by some variation of your name and you are put in the awkward position of correcting someone you just met.

Keep in mind they may simply be using mental shorthand without realizing it. Your name may be viewed as two different versions of the same thing rather than two distinct and separate things.

When it comes to what you are called, unless it’s really true that you don’t mind if people alter your name, then a simple correction works best.

For in-person introductions, it’s fairly easy to correct someone who has used a non-preferred nickname or mispronounced your name. Simply extend your hand in greeting and politely say, “Actually, I prefer Elizabeth. Thanks.” Politely requesting that your preferred name be used is fine.

For the times when someone repeatedly uses a nickname, politely say, “I am sorry I haven’t corrected you sooner, and I don’t mean to cause you embarrassment, but from now on, could you please refer to me as Elizabeth.” Deliver the message gently and clearly to avoid hurt feelings.

Addressing someone by his or her nickname is very informal and sometimes can imply a friendship or relation with the person. Understandably, it can make you feel uncomfortable, especially if someone you are not acquainted with addresses you by a nickname.

Most people are happy to know what your name preference is, so don’t hesitate to correct them politely and right away.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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