On the Homefront: We are all going through something, so be kind and patient
BY DENISE CONTINENZA
This past week, I was on a webinar with my colleagues and a few new partners I was meeting for the first time.
One of the new people in the meeting seemed disinterested, almost disengaged. Several times she challenged others’ ideas. Her verbal communication conveyed a message of annoyance, and her body language affirmed it. What was going on with her, I thought?
After the meeting, I reached out to one of the attendees with whom I have a close connection and asked if there was something said that offended this person or if this was just her usual demeanor. My colleague assured me it was nothing that anyone said or did. But she also said this behavior was out of the ordinary for her - until recently.
I found out this person had been experiencing a whole host of issues, ranging from personal health to work-related stress to family caregiving.
I was quickly reminded of one of my most meaningful mantras: “Be kind to one another because we are all going through something.” I realized I was being prompted to practice what I preach.
According to the 2022 report from the World Health Organization, “COVID-19 pandemic triggers 25% increase in prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide,” global rates of mental health issues increased during COVID-19. The connections to the pandemic are many and include fear of the unknown, the need to juggle caregiving and work responsibilities, isolation as well as grief and loss. This is all on top of the ordinary, everyday life stressors.
More than ever, it is critical for us to keep a watchful eye on our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. While not every person going through a tough time requires treatment for mental health disorders, having emotional support and coping skills is important for addressing problems early on. As with physical health, early detection of declining mental health can prevent bigger problems down the road.
During this time of uncertainty and flux, take note of changes in behavior and thinking of those around you. Point it out to them by saying things like, “I notice you have not been going out to lunch with us lately. What’s up?” or “I am concerned you have been staying in your office all day with the door closed.” Sometimes, all a person needs to hear is that someone has noticed and cares enough to say so. This approach also opens the door to a conversation about what is (or is not) going on with the person.
Get to know the mental health resources in your community. Share this information with people for whom you have concerns. Let them know it is a sign of strength to get help. Most people visit their dentist or a primary care physician without any shame, so why not take care of our mental health the same way?
In Mental Health First Aid’s 2020 article titled “10 surprising mental health statistics from 2020,” Morgan Solomon Maynard notes the median delay in getting treatment for mental health disorders is 11 years. Why do people wait so long to address their mental wellness?
We do not wait more than a few days to see the dentist for an aching tooth. The reasons for the delay are many: cost, access, availability, culture and stigma, to name a few. As a friend, family member or co-worker, it can be painful to watch someone struggling with declining mental well- being. So, what else is one to do?
Encouraging the person to engage in self-help strategies when he/she first shows changes in mood or behavior is very helpful. Reconnecting with people, engaging in hobbies and fostering new interests are all therapeutic in that these activities help us to focus on positive and uplifting aspects of our lives. They give a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Social connections reduce isolation, which often magnifies negative feelings or circumstances. Sometimes all one can do is be that social connection for the person until he/she is ready to seek counseling or other supports. It is also possible these self-care strategies alone are what someone needs to propel them out of a downward spiral.
When someone in our circle is acting in ways that concern us, it is always wise to share our concerns and let the person know we are noticing and we care. When these observable signs persist, we can let the person know it is OK to ask for help.
If people refuse or cannot access care for any reason, help them to identify some ways they can experience some distraction and peace of mind. For example, when someone who enjoys walking but has gotten so busy with work and family responsibilities that he/she has not had time to walk, we can invite the person out for an evening stroll in the park. Your encouragement and support in finding time to walk could be what they needed to get back to a state of emotional balance.
Indeed, we are all going through something, and we all need others to take our mental temperature now and then. We cannot assume a person is simply being difficult. We can provide support and resources and offer connections that foster wellness and healing.
•Solomon-Maynard, M. (Nov. 5, 2020). 10 surprising mental health statistics from 2020. Mental Health First Aid. mentalhealthfirstaid.org/external/2020/11/10-surprising-mental-health-statistics-from-2020
•World Health Organization (March 2, 2022). COVID-19 pandemic triggers 25% increase in prevalence of anxiety and depression worldwide. who.int/news/item/02-03-2022-covid-19-pandemic-triggers-25-increase-in-prevalence-of-anxiety-and-depression-worldwide
Editor’s note: Denise Continenza is the family and consumer sciences educator with Penn State Extension, Lehigh and Northampton counties.