Attention movie ad blurb meisters:

“Thor”-oughly amusing.

Not quite.

“Thor”-oughly exciting.

Not that, either.

“Thor”-oughly confusing.

That’s more like it.

Figuring out what’s going on in “Thor: Love and Thunder” is a “Thor” point.

This isn’t the first time that the big guy with the big hammer has big screenplay, storyline and continuity problems on the big screen. It’s a “Thor” spot.

“Thor: Love and Thunder” is a major motion picture mess. It’s all over the place in story, character and place. The movie doesn’t know whether it’s a comedy, adventure movie or science-fiction film. It’s all. And nothing.

In one of the movie’s most ridiculous scenes, a Thor stage show is presented in a Thor theme park with an uncredited Matt Damon (Actor Loki), Luke Hemsworth (Actor Thor), Sam Neill (Actor Odin) and Melissa McCarthy (Actor Hela). It’s a very awkward scene.

Then there’s that gift of giant goats to Thor. Yeah, they got his goats. Why not turtle doves? The “Thor”n birds.

Despite the movie title, there’s not much love. And the thunder is mostly provided by a soundtrack of Guns N’ Roses’ hit songs. When the most exciting moments on the big screen are provided by classic hard rock, “Houston, we’ve got a problem.”

After all, to power-phrase, how are you going to solve a problem like Thor?

“Thor: Love and Thunder” is the fourth in the series (“Thor,” 2011; “Thor: The Dark World,” 2013; “Thor: Ragnarok,” 2017). The Marvel Comics character doesn’t seem too bright (at least as written). His main superpower seems to be wielding, slinging and throwing a gigantic hammer with a rectangular head the size of a steamer trunk. Other superheroes have swords, sabers and shields. Thor has a hammer. Rather than a help as a superpower, it seems more of a hindrance. He’s no John Henry, the legendary folk hero, that’s for sure.

Taika Waititi, director of “Thor: Love and Thunder,” is back after directing “Thor: Ragnarok.” Waititi seems aware of the limitations of the big guy and surrounds Thor with funny business and silliness, especially in dialogue. Scenes are wildly disparate in production design and art direction, with character dialogue scenes sticking out like “Thor” thumbs amidst an over-abundance of Computer Generated Imagery (CGI). There’s a profound lack of fealty by the director for source material and characters.

Chris Hemsworth, as Thor, is more than up to the task. Hemsworth has a likable screen presence. His ready smile, warm eyes and incredible physique require no CGI.

Natalie Portman has some nice moments as Jane Foster-The Mighty Thor. Her part is underwritten. Stronger scenes could have been developed for her character and for Thor and Jane. How about: “Me, Thor. You, Jane.” Instead, we get a Jane Fonda joke.

Russell Crowe plays Zeus in gold breast plate and white pleated skirt. He’s no “Gladiator,” and we saw “Gladiator” (2000) with Crowe as Maximus. By Zeus, he lords it over a futuristic shopping mall re-purposed as a castle, no doubt a victim of online shopping. Surrounded by four Zeusettes, two Zeus Pretty Boys, and a Zeus harpist, a back view of a naked Thor gives them an eyeful. The scene is an embarrassment for all involved.

Tessa Thompson has little more than a cameo as King Valkyrie. Yes, sometimes a small part is a small part.

Waititi voices Korg, sold as a rock and about as interesting.

Christian Bale is in yet another one of his virtually unrecognizable roles as Gorr the God Butcher, the designated bad guy who is not really written properly into the screenplay so as to be an effective villain. Gorr is probably a vegan.

To quote a cliche, “Thor: Love and Thunder” provides fan service with “Guardians of The Galaxy” cameos by Jaimie Alexander (Sif), Chris Pratt (Peter Quill), Dave Bautista (Drax), Karen Gillan (Nebula), Pom Klementieff (Mantis), Vin Diesel (Groot voice) and Bradley Cooper (Rocket voice).

Waititi co-wrote the screenplay with Jennifer Kaytin Robinson (screenplay, “Unpregnant,” 2020; writer-director, “Someone Great,” 2019; creator, TV’s “Sweet-Vicious,” 2016 - 2017) from a story he wrote based on Marvel Comics characters created by Stan Lee and Jason Aaron.

Waititi fills in missing story elements and character development in the screenplay with extended sequences of fighting with Thor in the thick of it. The action scenes are not that exciting because of an over-use of CGI and special effects lightning, thunderbolts, light flashes and streaks which, intended to evoke excitement, are merely distracting.

The lack of strong story and character is surprising for Waititi, who directed the idiosyncratic “Jojo Rabbit,” for which he received an Oscar, adapted screenplay. Waititi directed “Hunt for the Wilderpeople” (2016), which was also character-driven.

At the very end of “Thor: Love and Thunder,” white letters on a black background state:” Thor Will Be Back.”

Is that a promise or a warning?

“Thor”-n again? I don’t much care whether Thor is back or not. It’s nothing personal. To Chris Hemsworth, I say, “Good on ya, mate.”

“Thor: Love and Thunder” is the 29th movie in the ever-expanding Marvel Cinematic Universe, growing ever more tiresome, redundant and unimaginative with each new release. It’s a “Thor”-n in my side.

OK, enough of the dad bad puns.

Well, maybe one more:

Before I see the next “Thor” movie, I may need a prescription of “Thor”-azine.

“Thor: Love and Thunder,”

MPAA rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.) for intense sequences of sci-fi violence and action, language, some suggestive material and partial nudity; Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Science-Fiction; Run time: 1 hour, 58 minutes. Distributed by Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures.

Credit Readers Anonymous:

There’s a post-credits scene that can only be described as a spoiler, so I won’t.

At the Movies:

“Thor: Love and Thunder” was seen in the Dolby at AMC Theater, AMC Center Valley 16.

Theatrical Domestic Movie Box Office,

July 15 - 17: “Thor: Love and Thunder” continued at No. 1 for a second week in a row, $46 million, in 4,375 theaters; $233.2 million, two weeks.

2. “Minions: The Rise of Gru” stayed in place, $26 million, in 4,114 theaters; $262 million, three weeks. 3. “Where the Crawdads Sing,” opening, $17 million, in 3,650 theaters. 4. “Top Gun: Maverick” dropped one place, $12 million, in 3,292 theaters, $617.9 million, eight weeks. 5. “Elvis” dropped one place, $7.6 million, in 3,305 theaters; $106.2 million, four weeks. 6. “Paws of Fury: The Legend of Hank,” opening, $6.2 million, in 3,475 theaters. 7. “The Black Phone” dropped one place, $5.3 million, in 2,277 theaters; $72 million, four weeks. 8. “Jurassic World Dominion” dropped three places, $4.9 million, in 2,660 theaters, $359.7 million, six weeks. 9. ”Mrs Harris Goes to Paris,” opening, $1.9 million, in 980 theaters. 10. “Lightyear” dropped three places, $1.3 million, in 1,350 theaters; $115.4 million, five weeks.

Box office information from Box Office Mojo as of July 17 is subject to change.

Unreel,

July 22:

“Nope,”

R: Jordan Peele directs Keke Palmer, Daniel Kaluuya and Steven Yeun in the Horror, Mystery, Science-Fiction film. Residents of a small California town witness a chilling discovery.

“Alone Together,”

No MPAA rating: Katie Holmes write and directs the screenplay starring herself, Jim Sturgess and Derek Luke in the Romance Drama. Two strangers in bad relationships end up in the same Airbnb in upstate New York.

”How to Please a Woman,”

No MPAA rating: Renée Webster directs Sally Phillips, Caroline Brazier and Tasma Walton in the Drama. A woman’s all-male house-cleaning business gets out of control.

“My Old School,”

No MPAA rating: Jono McLeod directs Alan Cumming, Dawn Steele and Lulu in the Documentary Drama. A 16-year-old at a secondary school in Glasgow, Scotland.

Movie opening date information from Internet Movie Database as of July 17 is subject to change.

One Popcorn Box out of Five Popcorn Boxes