Dear Jacquelyn,

My niece is getting married later this summer. I would like to give a check as a gift. Should I write the check to the bride or the groom, or both? I don’t want them having trouble cashing the check. What is the proper way to make out a check for a wedding gift?

Dear Reader,

A wedding gift of money is a fantastic and thoughtful way to help a newly-married couple start a savings account or buy a new home.

For a couple starting their lives together, it can be far more freeing than a coffeemaker ever could be. It also helps if you are unsure of what to give.

Checks take the guesswork and worries away from the giver. However, if the check is made out incorrectly it can quickly lead to a headache. The couple might not be able to cash the check, leaving them in the uncomfortable position of asking you to reissue the check.

You probably want to write it out to your niece with her new last name. But you may be unsure if or when she is changing her name. If the bride takes her time changing her last name, or doesn’t at all, that makes it very hard to cash the check.

If you want to make it easier on the couple, you can simply address the wedding gift check to the groom only. Consider leaving the bride off the check unless you’re positive of what her post-wedding name will be.

If you feel this might offend the couple that are eager to share everything, there is another option to consider. Instead, make the check out to the bride’s name or the groom’s name. By using “or” instead of “and,” you’ll make it easier for the bride or groom to cash the check.

If you want to avoid the issue altogether, you can always give cash.

This eliminates the possibility of name error and makes your gift immediately available.

Your thoughtfulness and thinking ahead will eliminate any undue awkwardness for the couple.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training.

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