You can’t wave a magic wand and make the woes of the world go away.

Nor can you wave a magic wand and improve a movie.

There’s an awful lot of wand-waving in “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore.”

Waving a wand was an event in a “Harry Potter” movie, of which the “Fantastic Beasts” is the latest in the WIC (Wand Industrial Complex).

In “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore,” it seems like anybody and everybody has a wand. A crowd waves wands skyward to produce skyrockets like a Hogwarts 3-3/4 of July.

Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) and his friend turned foe Gellert Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen) wage a penultimate wand battle to rival the Lightsaber duels of Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader in “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back” (1980).

Toward the conclusion of “Fantastic Beasts,” Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler), holding his wand, meekly asks Dumbledore, “Can I keep it?”

The preponderance of wands in “Fantastic Beasts” will make many want to keep their souvenir wands, perhaps an even hotter commodity than Butterbeer in Diagon Alley at The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Orlando, Fla. The movie’s marketing mavens certainly had their eye on this one. It’s as if the film was lensed in “Wand-A-Vision.”

“Fantastic Beasts” isn’t a bad film. It’s quite a good film. At a reported $200-million budget, it should be.

On the one hand, “Fantastic Beasts” has eye-popping special effects of cityscape explosions, demolition and fragmentation scenes typically seen in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Makes one wonder if Vladimir Putin modeled the Russia Army strategy of leveling Ukraine, Syria, Chechnya and Georgia on the Marvel plot device.

And since the movie is called “Fantastic Beasts,” there are fantastic beasts.

There’s a gigantic snake-like dragon reminiscent of the Sand Worm in “Dune.” There are menacing crab-like scorpions that boogie to the beat. There’s a flying dragon that seems to emerge from Sylvester Duck. There’s a platypus-like creature and a miniature Groot-like sapling, which hang out in the jacket of Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne). There are two Qilins, based on a Chinese mythology dragon, which are Zen masters that everyone kowtows to. Scamander was at the birth of the Qilins in Bhutan in 1932, where the movie begins.

On the other hand, “Fantastic Beasts” is Shakespearean in tone, dialogue and execution. The movie concludes with a wedding, as do several of The Bard’s plays. There are castles, battlements, legions of court defenders arrayed in solemn assembly and dialogue that is delivered as pronouncements.

A prologue, told in a dreamlike flashback, infers that Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) and Gellert Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen, replacing Johnny Depp) had a homosexual relationship (An audible “Wow” rang out from one person in the movie theater screening during the dialogue reveal.)

I couldn’t figure out what other secrets Dumbledore has, but his gender-orientation will apparently remain a secret to Chinese movie-goers. The reference has reportedly been deleted by movie studio officials at the behest of China’s cinema censors.

The plot of “Fantastic Beasts” is as incomprehensible as a Hunter S. Thompson rant. The guilty parties are the usual suspects: the screenwriters (J. K. Rowling, author, “Harry Potter,” “Fantastic Beasts”; Steve Kloves, Oscar nominee, adapted screenplay, “Wonder Boys,” 2000; screenplays, “Harry Potter” series).

Director David Yates, returning to direct the third “Fantastic Beasts” film after having directed the last four “Harry Potter” movies, makes the best of the action-driven plot that skips from Bhutan to New York City to Germany and back to Bhutan. There are two few scenes where the characters talk with each other, rather than at each other.

Jude Law is fine and enjoyable in the lead role of Albus Dumbledore. Eddie Redmayne is aww-shucks funny as Newt Scamander. Mads Mikkelsen is grimly terrific as Gellert Grindelwald. Dan Fogler is humorous in all his befuddlement as Jacob Kowalski. Alison Sudol is solid as Jacob’s bride-to-be, Queenie Goldstein. Ezra Miller is creepy goth as Credence Barebone.

A Harry Potter movie used to be an event movie. Of course, this isn’t a Harry Potter movie, even though it takes us briefly to Hogwarts. The movie poster and trailer would have you believe the movie is somewhat of a return to Hogwarts. It isn’t.

I saw the “Harry Potter” films with my son at the former Boyd Theatre, Bethlehem, starting with “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” (2001) and on through all eight, concluding with “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2” (2010).

Elias thought every movie began with a curtain that opened as it did at the long-closed and soon to be demolished Boyd. I could barely keep up with reading the books to him at bedtime before another “Harry Potter” movie was released. The “Harry Potter” characters were children and we grew up with them. I think that Elias and I aged-out of “Harry Potter.” I think most of the audience has, too.

“Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” is the third in the series and the 11th in the so-called “Wizarding World” franchise. Each of the “Fantastic Beasts” has successively opened with diminishing weekend box office returns: “Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them” (2016), $74.4 million; “Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald” (2018), $62.1 million, and “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” (2022), $43 million.

The “Fantastic Beasts” franchise needs to be reinvigorated. Bring back Daniel Radcliffe (Harry Potter), Emma Watson (Herminone Granger) and Rupert Grint (Ron Weasley). How about “Harry Potter and the Secrets of Taco Pizza Eaters,” or “Harry Potter and the Secrets of the Mid-Life Crisis,” or “Harry Potter and the Secrets of the Silver Sneakers”?

As for the “Fantastic Beasts” series, parts four and five have been announced. I wish there was a magic wand to wave and make them go away. Alas, I am a Muggle, totally devoid of any magical abilities, other than getting you to read this lengthy movie review and putting you to sleep before you could finish it.

“Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore,”

MPAA rated PG-13 (Parents Strongly Cautioned. Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.) for some fantasy action violence; Genre: Adventure, Family, Fantasy. Run time: 2 hours, 22 minutes. Distributed by Warner Bros. Studios.

Credit Readers Anonymous:

“Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” has a kaleidoscope of images from the movie at the start of the end credits. The movie was filmed on Bhutan; Berlin, Germany; Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and Leavesden Studios, England.

At The Movies:

“Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” was seen in the Dolby Cinema at AMC, Promenade Shops at Saucon Valley. I moved over one seat because the din of the popcorn-eating and soda-slurping stranger who sat to my immediate left was loud enough to compete with the Dolby sound system.

Theatrical Domestic Movie Box Office,

April 22-24: It was a battle of the beasts at the box office, as the animated film, “The Bad Guys,” with the creature feature voiced by Sam Rockwell, Marc Maron, Zazie Beetz and Awkwafina, opening at No. 1 with $24 million, in 4,008 theaters, as “Sonic the Hedgehog 2” stayed in place at No. 2, with $15.2 million, in 3,809 theaters, $145.8 million, three weeks, and “Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore” dropped from its one-week stay at No. 1 to No. 3 with $14 million, in 4,245 theaters, $67.1 million, two weeks.

“The Northman,” a Viking saga starring Alexander Skarsgard, Nicole Kidman, Ethan Hawke, Anya Taylor-Joy, Willem Dafoe and Bjork, opened at No. 4 with $12 million in 3,234 theaters.

“The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent,” starring Nicolas Cage in the title role sending up his Hollywood stardom, and co-starring Pedro Pascal and Tiffany Haddish, opened at No. 5 with $7.1 million in 3,036 theaters.

6. “Everything Everywhere All at Once,” the one-person multiverse starring Michelle Yeoh, dropped two places, $5.4 million, in 2,133 theaters, $26.9 million, five weeks. 7. “The Lost City” dropped four places, $4.3 million, in 2,828 theaters, $85.4 million, five weeks. 8. “Father Stu” dropped three places, $3.3 million, in 2,705 theaters; $13.8 million, two weeks. 9. “Morbius” dropped three places, $2.2 million, in 2,306 theaters, $69.1 million, four weeks. 10. “Ambulance” dropped three places, $1.8 million, in 1,966 theaters, $19.1 million, three weeks.

Box office information from Box Office Mojo as of April 24 is subject to change.

Unreel,

April 29:

“Memory,”

R: Martin Campbell directs: Liam Neeson, Monica Bellucci, Ray Stevenson and Guy Pearce in the Action Thriller. An assassin-for-hire become the target. It’s a remake of the Belgian film, “The Memory of a Killer” (2003).

“Anaïs in Love,”

Charline Bourgeois-Tacquet directs Anaïs Demoustier, Valeria Bruni Tedeschi, Denis Podalydès and Jean-Charles Clichet in the Comedy, Romance, Drama about the lives and loves of three thirtysomethings.

“Firebird,”

R: Peeter Rebane directs Tom Prior, Oleg Zagorodnii, Diana Pozharskaya and Jake Henderson in the Romance Drama. Two soldiers become friends in 1970s Communist Soviet Union.

“Vortex,”

Gaspar Noé directs Dario Argento, Françoise Lebrun, Alex Lutz and Kylian Dheret in the drama. A couple copes with dementia.

“Hatching,”

Hanna Bergholm directs Siiri Solalinna, Sophia Heikkilä, Jani Volanen and Reino Nordin in the Horror film. A young woman finds a strange egg that hatches.

Movie opening information from Internet Movie Database as of April 24 is subject to change.

Two Popcorn Boxes out of Five Popcorn Boxes