Living the Vintage Years: Like it or not, we need each other
Whenever I get together with friends or family members, inevitably someone remarks how good it feels to see each other again.
I agree. Being fully vaccinated and boosted, as well as very cautious (I always wear a mask in public), I enjoy meeting up with my special people who are likewise vaccinated and careful.
Over the holidays, I entertained one or two guests at my home on nine separate occasions. I was exhilarated. Nothing makes me happier than showing love by feeding my friends.
After 2020’s isolation immediately following the deaths of my husband and my best friend, I was eager to decorate and cook and bake and host visitors in my home again, rather than outdoors in the cold and snow as I had done that bleak year.
As anyone can guess, I am a social person, though not a fan of the party scene.
I am happiest when I am with another person or a small group or, at the very least, when I am talking with a favorite someone on the phone.
No question about it, social contacts are important for my mental and physical health. And from the many articles and research being published on the negative effects of social isolation caused by the pandemic, I see I am far from alone.
Man evolved to be a social and interconnected animal. We form attachments with fellow beings. Social connection is vital to our survival.
When I asked folks what they missed most during 2020, many immediately bemoaned not being able to get together with their friends and relatives. Others, who suddenly had to work from home, missed being with their co-workers. In all cases, people missed being with people.
Lockdowns and physical distancing are important measures to slow the spread of disease and viruses. But solitude has its own health costs.
According to medical professionals, prolonged isolation can lead to serious conditions, such as loneliness, depression, anxiety, substance abuse and dementia. For some people, isolation also negatively affects sleeping, eating and exercise patterns.
A few folks I know, self-proclaimed loners, claim to like the recent social isolation and lack of interactions with others. I’m not so sure.
All of them have experienced more health problems in the last year. One person has taken up heavy drinking. Another has become anxious, depressed and overweight. Still another has developed an irrational fear of ever leaving her home, for any reason. She has groceries delivered to her doorstep, and her doctors’ visits take place on the computer in her kitchen.
Friendship, connection, meaningful conversation and a strong social support system are critically important for our well-being.
People who actively avoid social interactions and feel they can’t connect with others easily anymore might benefit from reaching out to someone, even reluctantly at first.
I understand the need for some folks to proceed slowly and take baby steps. We have been disconnected from other humans for almost two years. Socializing again might feel alien at first. But perhaps the friends and acquaintances being avoided actually have a need for social connection, too, and happily would welcome a phone call or text or email. They might need us as much as we need them.
I think Barbra Streisand absolutely got it right when, more than 50 years ago, she proclaimed in a hit song, “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world.”