Q: My 12-year-old daughter spends most of her time in her room drawing, writing and doing other creative things. She has few friends and no desire to hang out with other kids, but seems happy. She is doing very well with virtual learning and needs minimal guidance. Yet, I am concerned. Shouldn’t she want to go to parties or to the mall with kids her age?

Not every child needs a large number of friends or enjoys going to parties, said the Family Project panel.

“It sounds like there are a lot of positive things going on here. She is creative and is comfortable with self-study. Don’t foist your own values on her. She is a different person than you. There’s nothing that says you have to have a lot of friends at age 12,” said panelist Joanne Raftas.

“The problem seems to be she’s not doing what you think a child should be doing. Keep in touch with her feelings to make sure she’s OK. Check in with her periodically to make sure what she is doing is her choice. Fostering her creativity is the best thing to do,” said panelist Denise Continenza.

There is a chance she has social anxiety and staying home during the coronavirus (COVID-91) pandemic encouraged that tendency, the panelist agreed.

“She is not being challenged to work on her social skills at home. When she returns to in-person classes she may go back feel a little weird or anxious. This could be feeding into that aspect of herself. However, a lot of kids like virtual learning because it’s easier to do their own thing,” Raftas said.

“She seems like she’s happy. Don’t worry too much. Just encourage her to continue to communicate with other kids,” added panelist Pam Wallace.

The panelists wondered how she was doing socially prior to the pandemic.

“Has she become more creative during virtual learning?” asked panelist Mike Daniels.

“She’s being positive and doing well with school. Not all kids have to have a lot of friends,” Raftas noted.

“If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it. It seems she is happy and using her time wisely. Just keep making sure there is communication between you and her,” Raftas said.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Joanne T. Raftas, registered play therapist and counselor, and Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.