Dear Jacquelyn,

I have one family member in particular that will not hesitate to ask how much money I am making. I would rather not have a conversation about my finances. How can I politely shut down personal, intrusive money questions?

Dear Reader,

Everyone has at least one family member or friend who hasn’t gotten the memo that it’s impolite to ask personal questions about your finances.

Whether they’re inquiring about your annual salary, the price of your home, or the cost of your most recent vacation, there’s nothing they won’t ask.

Boundaries might be nonexistent to them, but they’re very real to you.

Therefore, you’re searching for a way to respond without divulging more information than you’re comfortable sharing. The best reply is one that’s not rude or confrontational.

Take ownership of how you feel about the question by using “I” statements. If you would rather not share that information, say so.

For example, you could reply by saying, “I’d rather not share that.”

It’s OK to set healthy boundaries for yourself concerning information you’re not comfortable divulging to another person.

Respond with a smile and a calm tone and don’t go back to the topic. If they do, you repeat what you’ve already said, and don’t entertain the conversation. You’re not being rude. They should get the point and stop asking.

If you do feel comfortable sharing a bit of information, it’s perfectly fine to give a partial answer.

For example, if the other person asks how much you earn per year, I recommend saying, “I don’t feel comfortable sharing the exact amount, however, it’s an improvement from my last position.”

You should never feel like you need to disclose financial details you’d rather keep under wraps. Politely share as much or as little information as you’d like and leave it at that.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2022 Jacquelyn Youst