Today I found myself searching my home for stamps. I don’t use stamps often. But I do buy them to have in case something needs to be mailed. And I remember buying a few several weeks ago. I haven’t seen them since.

I have looked for the stamps on and off. But I haven’t found them.

I have three family members with birthdays coming up. Really, more than three, but I only send cards to elders and children. My own generation are content with texts and Facebook messages, and that’s good.

The birthday cards are purchased and waiting for postage.

So today, I emptied out my summer purse. It netted me about 20 cents in change. I searched the drawer I keep the Christmas cards, and usually the stamps in. Then I searched the two drawers above it. That netted a misplaced gift card, but no stamps.

It makes me annoyed to lose anything, even stamps. I will probably carve out a few minutes on Sunday to search less obvious places.

Losing the stamps made me think of other things I’ve lost. That made me consider my present goals again. In a way, I am seeking to replace a lot of what once was. But I am also trying to do it differently.

For a long time, my only priorities were safety and a sense of stability. That has not changed, so I am considering everything much more carefully.

Right now, I am still a long way from my goals. But I can see paths to them. That’s a good start.

I keep having nightmares about being lost. In the dreams, I’m alone, and think I know where I’m going. I’m also on some sort of alternative transportation. Sometimes I find interesting things that seem familiar. I always wake up before I reach my destination.

I don’t know what the dreams mean. I am not alone, and I have an suv. But maybe the dreams are just playing with my uncertainty about the future.

The suv needed some repairs to pass inspection, and still needs more work done soon. That was stressful. But if there’s one thing I’m familiar with, it’s having the unexpected interrupt plans. Just another hurdle to cross.

It helps to remind myself that there’s a plan. I will get there. Not today, not tomorrow, and probably not by Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, it is so fun to be in the Christmas City at Christmas! The city’s decorations are up and shining. We saw the carriage horses on Broad Street yesterday. I hope you get to go out and enjoy our beautiful city this season.