Dear Jacquelyn,

I have two children, ages 6 and 8. They are typical kids and sometimes have trouble remembering to use their manners. The holidays are approaching and we will be spending more time with loved ones. I would be grateful for any tips to help them to remember to use polite behavior.

Dear Reader,

During the holidays when children are consumed by the holiday excitement, it is extremely difficult for them to remember their manners.

Preemptively practicing their manners beforehand will help. By the ages of 6 and 8, they have already grasped the basics: please, thank you, and chew with your mouth closed.

Providing them with invaluable tools of more advanced social graces will serve them well, long after the holidays. I recommend reminding them how important it is to be gracious.

Talk to them about how special it is that someone took the time to think of them and buy them a gift. Remind them of the time they browsed the stores looking for the perfect gift for Aunt Kathy.

Another important social skill you can practice with them is introductions. They likely will be greeted by either an aunt they see only once a year or a grownup they have never met.

Greeting new people can be nerve wracking for children, but if they make an attempt, it makes a big difference. Being prepared and knowing what to do will help them feel more comfortable meeting new people.

This may be difficult for a shy child. You can help the child by practicing on toys until the child gets comfortable. Instruct the child to smile, make eye contact, say his or her name and “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

A proper good-bye is just as important. Have your children walk visitors to the door to say goodbye.

When we teach children that holidays are about spending time with others and not just about the presents, we are helping them become gracious adults.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

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