Q: My son and his family are moving to Florida. Our granddaughter is starting her junior year in high school and is having a lot of trouble adjusting. What can I do to help?

This is a difficult time for a major change like this for your granddaughter, so whatever support you can give her will be helpful, according to the Family Project panel.

“Junior year in high school is a pivotal time in a teenager’s development,” panelist Denise Continenza said.

“Teens live in present, so it is hard for them to look ahead to the future and how things can be different,” said Continenza.

“It is important that you acknowledge that the daughter is going through a big change,” said panelist Mike Daniels.

“She will miss many milestones at her old school such as the prom and graduation and it is normal she will feel bad about that,” said panelist Chad Stefnyak.

“This is a loss for her and you need to figure how much of a loss it is,” Daniels said.

“Part of how you approach this move is how you frame it to her,” Stefanyak said.

“Sell it that she will have to make new friends, just like she will when she goes to college. Tell her she will have a head-start and already know how to make new friends in college. Give it a positive spin,” said Stefanyak.

“Emphasize all the positive aspects of the move,” agreed Daniels.

“She’s moving into a new lifestyle. There are things she can take advantage of in Florida,” Daniels said.

“Talk to her about reinventing herself and frame this move as a ’new beginning,’” Continenza said.

“Plan visits for her to come and see you, and then she can also visit her friends at the same time. Let her maintain connections with her friends on her own terms,” said Daniels.

Provide continuity by keeping in contact with her however you can through calls, texts, emails and Facetime, the panel agreed.

“Be there to provide support and just listen if she wants to talk,” said panelist Pam Wallace.

She will get through this and will adapt to her new home, but it may be a bit of a bumpy ride, the panel agreed.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor, and Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

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