This summer, a robin moved into an existing nest outside of our bathroom window. I was surprised because I had heard they always build new nests.

We watched faithfully as the mama laid her eggs and nurtured the three babies until they were ready to fly.

Imagine our surprise when another family moved into the nest the following month to lay four eggs and nurture three baby robins until they were ready to fly away.

A friend recently posted this piece on social media from Jill Helmer, Thoughts on “A Little Bit of Everything.”

“This Mama bird built her nest on our front door this summer. This door sits right outside my office, so I had the opportunity to observe her process.

“She surveyed the area and picked this spot because she thought it was the most safe and secure. She took the time to carefully build it and make sure it was just right. She laid her eggs here, and she watched them hatch.

“At one point last week, the babies were so loud that I was having a hard time concentrating. She swooped in and fed and soothed them. At one point last week, their nest was overflowing with waste, and I wished they would clean it up. And finally on Tuesday, their nest became too small for the babies. They spread their wings and they flew away.

“Mama Bird came back to the nest. She sat for a few moments and looked around. Her babies were gone. The noise had quieted. She had enough room to sit comfortably. Yet she only stayed for a few minutes before she, too, flew away.

“I hope in those few minutes she realized she had done her job well. She had created a home and launched her babies out into the world. I know she missed the noise. She might have even missed the mess. But I hope her focus was on what she had accomplished.

“To my mama birds who are doing the same over the next week, make sure to take a few moments for yourself when you return home. Focus on a job well done and your part in making it so. Your babies have wings because of you.”

When my older son went off to kindergarten, I, like many other mothers, had tears in my eyes. My baby was going to school. What if something happened to him? What if he didn’t make friends? What if he got bullied? What if ...?

When he went to middle school, he was nervous about using the lockers and meeting new friends. I was nervous for him. What if he couldn’t remember the combination? What if he was late for class? What if ...?

When he went to high school, another array of worries set in with his independence in full swing. Add to that driving and being out with the car alone. What if ...?

When he graduated from high school, he started at Penn State Lehigh Valley. After one semester, he decided he wanted to join the Marines. I had to say goodbye to my first born and send him to Parris Island in South Carolina for boot camp, where I wouldn’t be able to talk to him and see how he was doing. As I hugged him goodbye and put him on the bus, I started crying even though I told myself not to do it. I wanted him to know I would be OK. I didn’t want his memory of me to be of a mother crying. All I could do was send him letters and energy bars and wait for the letter carrier to come in hopes there would be a letter for me. How was he doing? Was it as tough as they say? What if something happened? What if ...?

I repeated the above steps for my younger son, only he took the route of attending college in Savannah, Ga. I promised myself I would not cry and not show him how upset I was that I would be 12-1/2 hours away should something happen. We took him to his dorm, helped him set up his room and then said our goodbyes. I promised myself I wouldn’t cry so he would know that I would be OK. As I hugged him goodbye, the tears started to flow, and I assured him I would be fine. The entire drive home, I cried off and on and told myself he would be fine, too.

I thought of these times in my life as I watched my mama robin with her young babes and again when I read Helmer’s piece.

Yes, I understand our job is to “focus on a job well done” and appreciate our part in making it so. We all hope we have done a good job parenting.

But I want all young mothers and fathers reading this to know I understand your anxiety and worry as you approach these milestones with your children.

It’s OK to feel sad as you begin and close each chapter, but I want you to know you and your children will be OK. When they are in elementary school, share in their excitement of making new friends and be there for them when they have bad days. Same for middle school and high school - even if they try to push you away.

When they go on to college, enter the military or go out on their own, you will be amazed at how resilient they become as they navigate adulthood without you. It will be sad, but it is how it should be.

When a former co-worker once told me to “enjoy them while they are young,” I may have snarled because I was in the throes of day-to-day parenting. But as a parent of sons in their 20s, I finally get it. Enjoy the time you have with them and the many milestones they will hit. They grow up quickly; be sure not to miss these special times with them.

Debbie Galbraith

editor

East Penn Press

Salisbury Press