Dear Jacquelyn,

Recently, I went out to dinner with friends. Everything was going smoothly up to when our dinner was served. My steak was served rare, but I ordered it well-done, so I sent it back. Sending food back always creates an awkward, uncomfortable situation. Some people have no problem sending dishes back at a restaurant, but I stress over it. How should you send food back at a restaurant without making things awkward?

Dear Reader,

Having a meal prepared properly is always ideal, but sometimes things can go awry.

If there’s something off about your food, or it’s just not what you expected, make sure to speak up as soon as you can. The longer you wait, the more awkward things can get.

It’s a bit impolite to consume the majority of a dish and then relay negative feedback. If you wait until the end of the meal, the staff has no opportunity to fix it and make it right for you.

The majority of the time, returning or exchanging food and beverages is a perfectly acceptable move and, provided you do so politely, your wait staff will be more than willing to accommodate.

Although you can technically send a dish back and simply say, “I didn’t like it,” you’re better off giving specific reasons. This helps you and the chef.

The key is to be up front with the server and specific in terms of what exactly you didn’t like. The description of the item may need to be tweaked in the future.

Being discreet and respectful is also a part of good manners. Many people worked hard to bring this dish out to you. As long as it is done in a respectful manner, you should feel comfortable asking for a dish to be remade.

Respectfully yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2021 Jacquelyn Youst