Q: My daughter is nine and is afraid of the dark. We have to have a light on in her room at night, which is a problem when we visit family and she shares a room. We’d love any ideas on how to help her get over this so everyone can sleep.

It is not unusual for a child to be afraid of the dark, the Family Project panel said.

Children don’t need to be afraid of anything specific when they are afraid of the dark, said panelist Chad Stefanyak.

“A lot about this is very normal. It’s not unusual for a child to find comfort in a night light,” Stefanyak said.

Children live in a magical world, said panelist Mike Daniels.

“At nine, she is between the magic and adolescence. He brain is changing. When kids are uncertain, they fill in the blanks and that can be very scary,” Daniels said.

Children at this age are more aware than younger children of scary things from movies and TV, added Stefanyak.

Maybe, instead of leaving a night light on, you could leave a hall light on, suggested panelist Pam Wallace.

Another option is for the daughter to keep a small flashlight by her bed, suggested panelist Joanne Raftas.

“She would have control over it. It would give her the power of light,” Raftas said.

Daniels agreed that this would be a great transition for the child.

“Whatever habits are formed early on are hard to break. That’s why we try to form good habits early when they are infants,” said Raftas.

Raftas added that by age six, children start being aware of fears and that is a normal age for children to start having nightmares.

If the daughter has nightmares she needs to realize those feelings are temporary, Daniels said.

“When she is awake, you can comfort her, but you can’t cognitively help her with fear. You just need to acknowledge her fear and comfort her,” Daniels said.

Carole Gorney

remembered

The Family Project panel would like to express their appreciation and sadness at the passing of Lehigh Valley Press contributor Carole Gorney.

Carole who wrote “The Family Project” from 2017 until shortly before her death June 5.

“Carole was an integral part of Project Child’s ‘The Family Project.’ Carole was a very accomplished woman and her dedication to writing about parenting issues came across in every column. Thank you, Carole. We will miss you,” said Pam Wallace.

“Carole was a talented and skilled writer who crafted the panel discussions and information into well-written columns,” said Denise Continenza.

“Carole had the gift to report what the panel discussed in a flawless way. What I admired the most from Carole was her sense of commitment and responsibility when she hardly missed our meetings even while she was going through chemotherapy. May her memory stay with us and our readers for a long time,” said Wanda Mercado Arroyo.

“Carole worked through such challenging health issues and continued to work diligently and with such talent for putting our conversations into articles. She has earned our deep respect for all that she has done and will be missed,” said Joanne Raftas.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, and Joanne T. Raftas, registed play therapist and counselor.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.