Dear Jacquelyn,

This summer I will be staying with a friend I haven’t seen in a while. I am never sure if I’m supposed to bring a host-hostess gift when invited for a weekend stay. Is it appropriate to bring my friend a hostess gift?

Dear Reader,

A good hostess will never expect anything in return, but a good guest should bring something.

I am sure your friend has done a great deal of planning to ensure your comfort during your weekend stay. I would suggest showing your appreciation and bring along a gift. This is not only a nice gesture, it guarantees your visit will start on a positive note.

Your gift doesn’t have to be big or expensive. Something like a bottle of wine is sufficient for a short weekend stay.

Another suggestion would be to give something personal: perhaps a gift card to a local restaurant. You might also opt to bring along a local delicacy to share, like baked goods from your hometown.

In order to ensure your visit remains pleasant, do keep your guest room neat and clean. Your friend will appreciate your efforts to not create extra work for them. It’s simple and common sense to make the bed and keep your clothes in drawers.

When your visit comes to an end, double check your bedroom and bathroom. They should be left in the same condition as when you arrived.

Lastly, as soon as possible after you return home, be sure to express your gratitude and send a thank-you card. This is one of those situations in life when a thank-you card is non-negotiable.

A pleasant visit from beginning to end ensures you both can relax, reconnect and enjoy your friendship.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

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