Dear Jacquelyn,

I am noticing more and more that people are lacking good table manners. Many seem to be in a hurry and simply unaware of their poor table manners. If you had to list your top three suggestions for proper dining etiquette, what would they be?

Dear Reader,

Table manners play an important part in making a favorable impression.

They are visible signals of the state of our manners. Any time we are having a quick lunch with friends or a business dinner, our manners speak volumes about our self-awareness and our respect for those around us.

My top three guidelines for impeccable table manners are summed up in our self-awareness and respect for others.

Before we even begin to eat, our manners begin to surface.

Does someone instantly begin eating when their food arrives, or wait until everyone has their meal? Good manners dictate that one should wait until everyone is served before we start in on our plate of food. This guideline applies when the group present at your table is eight or less, and applies to eating in a restaurant or when you are a guest in someone’s home.

The art of using utensils properly is another nuance many ignore. For example: cutting-sawing into food as if it were a tree being chopped down or placing used silverware directly on the table. These poor habits are likely practiced in the comfort of one’s own home but become distracting to fellow diners when used at inappropriate times.

When we are dining in the company of others and not dining alone, dinner becomes a social affair. Cell phones should be silenced so that everyone is able engage in conversation without distraction. This positive habit allows people to connect and be present in the moment. Listening intently, actively participating in conversation and enjoying a meal make for the best times and memories.

Remember, good manners, including table manners, are always other-centered.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

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