Q. I have 10-year-old twins and they are now asking to get an allowance for doing chores. I don’t want to start paying them to do things that I’m trying to teach them are daily responsibilities, such as putting their own dishes in the dishwasher, putting their laundry away and cleaning their bedroom. I could really use some advice on this.

“Ten-year-olds basically have two opportunities to make money,” panelist Chad Stefanyak said, adding, “That’s Christmas and birthdays.” So, he asked, “Why not create more ways for them to earn money?”

Panelist Denise Continenza agreed with the mother that there are things that should be part of what the twins are expected to do as part of the family.

The mother mentioned a few of those things in her question, but panelist Joanne Raftas said it would be helpful for her to make a complete flow chart of activities to help the children understand the difference between family chores and extra-credit work.

The problem, panelist Mike Daniels said, is that the twins are not going to be able to earn more than $5 to $7 a month doing the extra chores.

“The twins are going to wind up getting an allowance,” Raftas said.

Panelist Erin Stalsitz said, “Parents need to keep in mind that kids want to do things and buy things that cost a lot more than their allowances.”

“When I was growing up, we didn’t have allowances,” panelist Pam Wallace said, adding, “Things are so different today.”

“Prices have made allowances an antiquated notion,” Stefanyak said, adding, “A family night out can turn into $75 or more. The parents should think of it that way rather than dishing out a couple of extra dollars.”

“Why not give the 10-year-olds a choice?” Daniels asked, adding, “Talk about the activities they like to do as a family, and what needs to be done during the week.

“Discuss with them if their allowances are going to help pay for these activities,” said Daniels, who suggested that some weeks in lieu of family outings the twins might be allowed to earn a little extra money for themselves.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist; Erin Stalsitz,, Lehigh Children & Youth, and Joanne Raftas, Joanne Raftas, Northampton Community College, independent counselor.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

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