When sitting down to write this opinion piece, I started by typing into Google “deaths from gender reveals.” I heard of a recent gender-reveal party that ended badly, but I was shocked at how many other instances came up. The main culprit - explosives.

The recent one I heard about occurred Feb. 21 in New York. Two brothers, one the father of the unborn child, were putting together a homemade device that would shoot out either blue - for a boy - or pink - for a girl. The gender-reveal party that was supposed to take place that same night never occurred. Something malfunctioned with the device when they were working on it. The device exploded, killing the soon-to-be father and injuring the soon-to-be uncle.

Did this type of gender reveal need to happen? No.

“Gender-reveal parties, which have roots in a 2008 parenting blog, have turned dangerous in recent years, as excited couples have opted for increasingly elaborate stunts to share whether they are having a boy or a girl,” Katie Shepherd writes in a Feb. 23 The Washington Post article titled “Accidental gender-reveal explosion kills an expectant father in New York: ‘This shouldn’t have happened.’”

“A novelty cannon killed a Michigan man at a gender-reveal party [in early February]. A soon-to-be grandmother died in Iowa after shrapnel from a homemade explosive device struck her head in 2019. The parties have also sparked wildfires and caused a plane crash in recent years,” the article continues.

“The tragic accidents, often caused by unintended explosions, leave families grieving instead of celebrating,” Shepherd writes.

At our family and friends party for the adoption of our son, we surprise announced the gender - and in a special and fun way. The theme of the party was nautical, with pink and blue everywhere. We asked each of our parents to come up to the front. I gave a special thank you for all of their love and support.

Before the party, we stuck a rolled-up note with “boy” in blue written on it in a glass bottle. Our parents took out the note, read it to themselves and smiled with excitement. One small obstacle: My father is blind, so we had “boy” in Braille on a paper just for him.

When he read it, all the soon-to-be grandparents then showed their papers to the rest of our family and friends, who all smiled and clapped at this joyous occasion. After the party, my father told me he was thankful and happy we went the extra mile to accommodate his disability so he could join in, too.

Was it really hard to have someone on Etsy create this? No. Was it something that was thoughtful to do and is memorable? Absolutely.

I am sure there are many gender-reveal parties that include a homemade device that work out fine, but that is not something I wanted to chance. I am not an expert in explosives, and neither is my husband. We leave dealing with explosives of all kinds to the professionals on holidays and at community events. Too many couples as of late are feeling the need to “go big” at these parties when, in fact, nothing can top the moment you see and hold your baby for the first time.

When thinking about activities to do at your gender-reveal party, also think about the fact that there are only two options when it is announced - blue or pink, boy or girl. But there are many options on how to reveal that surprise. Get creative. Involve someone special. Make a video. Have a group write a poem together. Ask a local “celebrity” to announce it. Make a sort-of escape room game. Search on Google and Pinterest for ideas. And, most importantly, make it safe.

I can guarantee your guests will not come up to you and say, “Well, I was really hoping you would do something with an explosive.”

Parents to be, congratulations on your news and many wishes for a life full of happiness.

Stacey Koch

editorial assistant

Whitehall-Coplay Press

Northampton Press

Catasauqua Press