Dear Jacquelyn,

When a random stranger or even close friends pay me a compliment, I feel embarrassed and awkward. I have a tendency to deflect the compliment. I would like to know how to graciously accept a compliment without seeming ungrateful or disingenuous.

Dear Reader,

Graciously accepting compliments can be a challenge. Our reactions and responses that we give are often awkward.

Learning how to best take a compliment is pretty easy. Simply say, “Thank you” and smile. That’s really all there is to it. It might feel awkward to say only those two words, but it’s all that’s required.

Most people respond to compliments in one of three ways: accept, deflect or reject.

To avoid embarrassment, you might see a compliment as a hot potato that needs to be tossed off as soon as it lands in your hands.

However, it’s not a good idea to transfer the discomfort to the giver. Chances are it will make them uncomfortable and possibly send the conversation down an uncomfortable path.

The golden rule for compliments is that it’s more polite to accept and appreciate a compliment than to contradict it.

Sometimes it is more comfortable and quite appropriate to offer an amplifier that shows just how much the compliment meant to you.

An appropriate follow up sounds like this: “That really means a lot. I truly appreciate you noticing that.”

This gives you the opportunity to tell the giver of the compliment how much it means to you and why you value it.

Compliments are small gestures of kindness. Instead of becoming flustered, convey the actual gratitude you feel. After all, sincere gratitude is the only acceptable way to acknowledge someone’s kind remarks.

The bottom line is: graciously accepting compliments can be a challenge.

But it is quite possible to be modest while being grateful.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2021 Jacquelyn Youst