Q. My 10-year-old son got an iPad and a new game system for Christmas. Up until now he has excelled at reading and loved books. Now he has lost all interest in reading and all he wants to do is play games. I am concerned that he will suffer academically. Any suggestions?

“So, he’s had the games for a total of 12 days. Of course, he wants to play with them. I would think the parents’ job at this point would be to help the child learn moderation,” panelist Chad Stefanyak observed.

There are a lot of activities the child could be doing when he doesn’t have access to the games, panelist Pam Wallace said, adding, “The parents are in a position where they can structure the child’s day.”

“Technology is part of the culture, but parents can have control by making sure that their son’s day includes outside time, quiet time. play time and dinner time interacting with parents,” panelist Denise Continenza said, adding, “The shiny new toy also needs to be part of the child’s lifestyle.”

Panelist Mike Daniels suggested that the parents discuss the need for scheduling and their concern about how the boy is doing academically, noting, “Even at age 10, it is OK to have a conversation about getting back into the routine of life.”

Daniels suggested telling the boy, “We bought you the iPad and games for Christmas, and you have had the break to play with them. We love the fact that you like the games, but now it’s time to talk about what other activities you need to leave time for, including reading, doing homework and play.”

Have the conversation before the grades go down, and include consequences, Stefanyak recommended, adding to tell the boy, “Here are your grades right now. If we see them go lower, we will limit your iPad and game use to a half hour a day. When they go back up, we will increase game time to an hour.”

“The consequences don’t have to be big to be effective, but they do need to be tangible and immediate,” Daniels said.

Stefanyak said that tie iPad can accesss a reading app: “Mom can ask the boy to read to her from the app, or read a description of one of the games he likes. Reading is reading, and comprehension is still there.”

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, former teacher and school administrator, Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, and Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh Children & Youth.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

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