Q. I have a 15-year-old who refuses to do homework. She does well in school, but the homework is what brings her grades down. I can’t take her computer away since she is doing classes online. I put a limit on her Wi-Fi use, but she seems to have a way to get around it. Unfortunately, I am out of town a lot because of my job. I just can’t find a way to encourage her to do her homework.

“Students this age grossly underestimate the importance of their sophomore year,” panelist Chad Stefanyak said.

“Students think they can wait until their junior and senior years to worry about grades. But what they don’t understand is that college application forms go out in December of their senior year, so that year isn’t part of the application,” said Stefanyak.

“The girl’s parents should make it clear that she is already halfway there in applying for college,” panelist Denise Continenza said.

“They need to emphasize that doing homework isn’t negotiable, and they need to help their daughter see the importance of short-term goals,” Continenza said.

In urging the parents to have a conversation with their daughter, Panelist Mike Daniels said, “It is important to recognize that the girl is doing well, but the homework is affecting her grades.

“Mom can begin by acknowledging her daughter’s abilities, and then asking her what she would like to do with her future,” said Daniels, adding, “Mom is not going to be able to just snap her fingers and change the 15-year-old’s view of grades.”

Stefanyak said the parents need to add value to the homework that the child does not see now: “Explain to her that sometime in the future she may want to apply for a job, and there is someone else competing for the same job. Ask her, ‘How well will your grades and resume compare?’”

“The parents also need to establish structure for the girl now,” panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo recommended.

“That means specifying the same time and place for the girl to do her homework every day. She also needs to be supervised, and have regular breaks to improve concentration,” said Mercado-Arroyo.

Panelist Erin Stalsitz acknowledged that maintaining control is difficult when the mother is not at home, suggesting that she call the girl every night to determine what progress is being made on the homework.

“The conversation has to be about more than grades,” said Daniels. “Zoom calls should be about ‘How are you?’ and ‘I miss you.’”

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, former teacher and school administrator, Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, and Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh Children & Youth.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

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