Dear Jacquelyn,

Last month, I sent my nephew a birthday gift. He hasn’t said, “Thank you.” I checked the tracking and the gift definitely was delivered. I was really hoping he would call to say, “Thank you,” or even send a send a thank-you note. I’m not sure if I should ask him or just let it go. What should you do when your gift isn’t acknowledge by the recipient?

Dear Reader,

It’s disappointing whenever someone doesn’t express gratitude and appreciation. After all, you took time out of your day to think about them, not to mention the time it took to buy a gift.

Before you jump to conclusions, consider that your nephew may have innocently forgotten to acknowledge receiving your gift, or may be incorrectly thinking that he has already acknowledged it.

There is a polite way to approach this. First, give your nephew the benefit of the doubt. There could be a number of reasons why you didn’t get that thank-you. He could be busy and it’s simply an oversight.

Give him a call, text or email -- whichever way you normally connect. I would simply ask, “I don’t trust the mail. Did you ever get the gift I sent you?” Asking this simple question will hopefully prompt your nephew to remember to thank you for the gift.

Keep in mind as soon as you send a gift, that gift is given and out of your hands. You can certainly opt to say nothing.

In this case, the kindness you extended will be a silent, unspoken gesture. The oversight of failing to acknowledge the gift falls solely on your nephew. No matter how you approach this awkward situation, remember that you did a nice thing by taking the time to purchase and send him a birthday gift.

Most importantly, a gift is something freely-given.

In a perfectly-polite world, everyone who receives a gift from someone would acknowledge receiving the gift and issue a proper thank-you.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

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