Q. I have an almost 12- year-old who is begging for a social media account. His friends all have TikTok or Instagram or Twitter. But we feel that he is too young. We are, however, starting to waver a little and consider different options. What would be the best choice for a child to begin in social media?

According to CNBC, by the time they are 12 years old, 50 percent of youths use at least one social media platform.

To sign up for social media, many lie about their age. That’s because popular sites like Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Tiktok set the age limit at 13 in compliance with the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act administered by the Federal Trade Commission.

“Twelve-years-old is the perfect age for this question,” panelist Chad Stefanyak said, adding, “This is the age when kids are much more aware of their friends, and what people are doing. It makes it harder to say ‘No,” but you can.”

“The parents obviously know the child is too young, so they don’t need to do this because everyone else is,” panelist Joanne Raftas said, adding, “Social media is a privilege like so many other things, and the parents have the right to say when it is time to get started.”

Panelist Pam Wallace said, “Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates didn’t allow his children have cell phones or social media access until they were 16.”

Stefanyak recommended having a conversation with the 12-year-old about social media, instead of leaving it to the child to get advice from his young friends.

The conversation, Stefanyak said, should include helping him understand that his identity and sense of worth is not determined by the number of likes, comments and shares received online.

Expressing concerns about Facebook, in particular, because she feels it is too reactive, panelist Denise Continenza said the son’s request is an opportunity to teach the child responsibility.

“At whatever age the child gets a social media account, the parents will need to establish rules and monitor its user,” said Continenza, adding, “Start with limits on the length of time on the phone or computer and establish appropriate times to be on social media.”

In determining a child’s level of maturity to be on social media, panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo said that every 12-year-old is different. They still need to be monitored, said Mercado-Arroyo, adding, “It comes down to ‘safety first.’”

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Joanne Raftas, Northampton Community College, independent counselor; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor, and Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, former teacher and school administrator.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

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