Q. With the increased time spent at home recently, our kids have been forced to spend much more time together. I noticed that they don’t really seem to interact much unless I organize something. It’s exhausting to keep coming up with things for them to do together, but I want them to be close, especially as they grow older. Should I continue to put the time and effort into this? Or just come to terms with the fact that they are very different people?

“It sounds like the exhaustion the mother is felling is greater than any positive feedback she is getting,” panelist Mike Daniels said, adding, “She is spending a lot of time trying to address a problem that might night be a problem.”

Panelist Denise Continenza said the issue depends on family dynamics, in that what the children do when they aren’t interacting may make the mother’s efforts all the more important.

“Ninety percent of kids were on technology before the pandemic,” Continenza said, “so now mom has to look at things to do that they may think they are not interested in. The mother should work with the children to come up with ideas as to what kind of non-computer things to do.”

“While the computer isn’t the best thing because it targets the part of the brain that controls addiction,” Daniels said, “trying to take the devices away from children is not the best approach because heavy usage tricks the youngsters’ brains into thinking they will die if they can’t get access. The younger the kids were, given computer games to play, the harder it is to pull them off of them.”

“Part of the problem is that kids have done video games so much, they don’t know how to play,” panelist Chad Stefanak said.

To help make the effort less exhausting, and enhance interaction, panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo suggested introducing the children to non-computer type games. Let them work together to explore different types of games, learn the rules, teach their parents, then play them as a family.

Another suggestion from panelist Pam Wallace was to use natural places like the dinner table or at breakfast to designate a time for conversation. Topics could be chosen in advance with input from the children.

“You can’t force people to interact,” panelist Joanne Raftas said, “but if the mother wants a connection between her offspring as they grow up, she’s going to have to be the one guiding them, even if they are different people.”

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, Denise Continenza, extension educator; Joanne Raftas, Northampton Community College, independent counselor; Chad Stefanyak, school counselor, and Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, teacher and former school administrator.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.