I love where we live. Bethlehem is a lovely little city, but renting, even when you love where you live, is terrifyingly transient. Our last move was only half a block or so, but as my youngest son, James, lamented, two of his closest friends were no longer around. I had to agree. He had known one since he was just 2 years old. That child’s family left the state last winter. His other friend did not move too far, but he used to live just next door.

I miss people too. Even as an introvert, I still do make friends, and have found that time and circumstances have spread them far and wide.

And my divorce is still not concluded, and it has made the last few weeks miserable. Getting divorced is messy, and in part thanks to COVID-19, it’s taking a very long time. I have a lot to handle, a lot to work on. Sometimes it seems insurmountable. The past few weeks have been especially difficult, and I am still trying to sort it out.

Still, I dream of a future where we are settled in a home we can call our own. Preferably somewhere with two bathrooms, a dishwasher and a driveway. If you have had to share a bathroom with more than one person, you can imagine the joy of sharing it with two. Yes, people do this, but ugh! I have not had a dishwasher in a long time. My oldest son, Erick, thinks paper plates are frivolous and environmentally irresponsible. And three people produce a lot of dirty dishes. When I can, I buy paper plates anyway. My bio-mom likes to joke that she married her dishwasher. I would prefer the mechanical kind!

If you live in one of the many zones in the city that require parking permits, you will understand my wish for a driveway. I finally got a parking lot permit. It’s pricey, but parallel parking was never one of my talents. And I recently learned that since I let my street parking permit go, I can’t get temporary permits for my guests. Funny, I still live in the same place. It seems counterintuitive, but there you are. Um, now that I think about it, government at any level is often counterintuitive.

It’s hard to look to the future when the present seems so unsettled. But that is exactly why it’s good to dream.