Dear Jacquelyn,

I always enjoy hosting Thanksgiving dinner. I plan carefully and expect everyone to show up reasonably on time. What do I do about people who aren’t just 30 minutes late, but one hour or more? Should I hold dinner for latecomers?

Dear Reader,

Thanksgiving dinner and late people don’t mix.

As the host you’ve just devoted a lot of time cooking and the last thing you want to do is have your hard-earned meal sit and get cold.

Things have to come out of the oven in sequence. Some things need to rest and some things don’t fare well overcooked. It’s only possible to hold dinner for so long so that it can still be served at its optimum point.

You have two options for dealing with latecomers.

Wait the usual grace period of about 25 minutes from the time you plan to serve the first course.

Your second option is to hold off serving the food as long as you can without compromising it. Once the appetizers are running low, serve your guests and keep a plate warm for the late guest.

You can try to preemptively curb latecomers by stressing how important the start time is and clarify your expectations.

Be direct and let guests know appetizers are at 5 p.m. and dinner will be promptly served at 6 p.m. Ask them to please arrive accordingly.

For guests who do arrive late, seat them and graciously say, “I hope you don’t mind that we started without you. We know you wouldn’t have wanted to hold dinner up.”

From there, it would be appropriate to serve them the course that is underway, or some of the main course if the meal is over.

When latecomers derail our best intentions, it’s a matter of courtesy to remain gracious and flexible.

Respectfully Yours,

Jacquelyn

Have a question? Email: jacquelyn@ptd.net. Jacquelyn Youst is owner of the Pennsylvania Academy of Protocol, specializing in etiquette training. She is on the board of directors of the National Civility Foundation.

All Rights Reserved &Copy; 2020 Jacquelyn Youst