Q. My seven-year-old son asked to stop playing with his friend who lives next door and is often mean to him. My son isn’t entirely innocent, but this boy has bullied him and called him names for several months. Yesterday, they got into a physical fight. I have talked to his mother, who has agreed to try to keep them apart. What can I do?

Panelist Joanne Raftas said the mother needs to deal with her son directly: “I wouldn’t necessarily say stay away from each other, but they need to learn not to fight.”

Panelist Chad Stefanyak said, “There are times when it is appropriate to say, ‘You two should avoid one another,’ but this is not one of those scenarios. This has to be looked at as a learning opportunity.” Stefanyak said the boys need to resolve the situation or learn how to get along with each other.

Panelist Mike Daniels said, “Seven-year-olds live in the moment. Their feelings today don’t always last.” Daniels asked if the mother had witnessed bullying or name-calling,

Raftas said that bullying can be a perception: “It may not always be actual bullying. Sometimes, it is a control thing. I work with children who think that they are being bullied because others don’t want to do what they want. They perceive that as the others being ‘mean.”

Panelist Pam Wallace suggested to have the boys come up with ideas on how to work through their problems, or to give them a project to work on together.

Panelist Denise Continenza said the problem could be that the neighbor boy’s mother isn’t open to working on the problem with the boy’s mother.

Stefanyak recommended that the mother request mediation from the boy’s guidance counselor at school: “That way there is a neutral party so the other mother doesn’t feel that she is on the defensive.

“It might also relieve the mother’s anxiety to talk it through with the counselor,” Raftas said.

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist, Denise Continenza, extension educator; Joanne Raftas, NCC, independent counselor, and Chad Stefanyak, school counselor.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.