Q. I am worried about my son. He is eight-years-old and shows little interest in typical boy things. He doesn’t want to play sports or get dirty. He likes slower activities like bowling and reading. I can’t get him to do anything that I think boys ought to be doing. Should I be concerned about him?

In answering the question, the panelists agreed that they were dealing with a lot of stereotypes, and they wanted to know what were the mother’s definitions of girl and boy activities.

“I don’t see what bowling has to do with anything,” panelist Mike Daniels said. “It’s interesting that she mentioned bowling and reading because these are slower activities that appeal to some children who just aren’t physical.”

Noting that each child is a different person, panelist Wanda Mercado-Arroyo said, “Each has his or her own likes and dislikes. The absence of sports shouldn’t be a problem for parents.”

“The boy’s preferences may just be an indicator of personality,” panelist Erin Stalsitz said. “Should the mother be concerned about him,” she asked. “No,” she answered.

“It is a matter of interests,” panelist Pam Wallace said. “Maybe he’s good at bowling.” She suggested talking to the boy’s friends to see what they like to do together, because that may be driving the boy’s preferences.

Saying that she believes there’s an underlying assumption in the question, panelist Denise Continenza said, “I believe what is driving the mother’s concern is her son’s sexual identity.”

Daniels was quick to dispel this assumption. “At this point, the son’s partiality for reading and other less aggressive activities has nothing to do with the boy’s sexual preferences. If the mother assumes that, then she may be guarding against something she doesn’t need to worry about at all.”

Wallace said what is important that the boy is happy.

Daniels had the last word: “Whatever the boy’s interests or passions are, they are part of his human nature. They probably will change multiple times. So, support his bowling and reading, and focus on how they are helping the boy, rather than whether they are suitable interests for eight-year-old boys.”

This week’s panel: Pam Wallace, program coordinator, Project Child, a program of Valley Youth House; Mike Daniels, LCSW, Psychotherapist; Denise Continenza, extension educator; Wanda Mercado-Arroyo, educator and former school administrator, and Erin Stalsitz, Lehigh Children & Youth.

Have a question? Email: projectchild@projectchildlv.org

The Family Project is a collaboration of the Lehigh Valley Press Focus section and Valley Youth House’s Project Child.

The Times News, Inc., and affiliates (Lehigh Valley Press) do not endorse or recommend any medical products, processes, or services or provide medical advice. The views of the columnist and column do not necessarily state or reflect those of the Lehigh Valley Press. The article content is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, or other qualified health-care provider, with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.